Man Stuff

The Star Spangled Banner

2012-01-31T15:43:00.001-06:00

This Sunday we will once again be treated to the extravaganza known as the Super Bowl. Sponsors will pay millions of dollars to hawk their products, fans will spend thousands of dollars to sit in the stadium and TV networks around the world will pay fantastic sums of money to broadcast the game. Each aspect of the event will be choreographed and highly rehearsed, under the direction of professionals whose goals will be to make this performance the most remembered of all time. Likewise, the two teams will review their strengths and potential weaknesses, examining them in the light of their opponents' strengths and weaknesses to hone a winning strategy for this winner-take-all game.

One part of the game I always look forward to is the singing of the national anthem. "The Star-Spangled Banner" characterizes in so many ways all that makes America great.

Francis Scott Key was caught among the British war ships preparing to bombard the city of Baltimore, as part of the British campaign to defeat the Americans in the War of 1812. Key was detained and unable to warn the defenders of the city, who were rallying at Fort McHenry. The Battle of Baltimore would be a turning point for the victors, with the British basking in their burning of Washington, D.C., and the Americans resolute to never let a British torch burn another American city.

In anticipation of the British attack on Baltimore, the commander of Fort McHenry commissioned an American flag. This garrison flag was 30 feet by 42 ¾ feet large. The commander wanted "a flag so large that the British would have no difficulty seeing it from a distance." When the British Navy began its bombardment of the fort on September 13, it could most definitely see the flag.

Francis Scott Key watched the bombardment all through the day and night. His view of the fort was obscured by the haze caused by the cannons as well as the rain falling through the evening. So it was with great anticipation that Key looked out to the fort come sunrise. He strained to see what ensign would be flying from the fort's mast: English or American.

Key captured his feelings of pride, relief and joy, as he penned the words that would be adopted in 1931 as our country's national anthem. As I listen this Sunday, I will reflect back on the thousands of men and women who have fought and died for our star-spangled banner. I will rejoice that our flag is still flying high over a free and proud country. And I will experience a moment of sadness, as I remember the solemn ceremony of the flag folded atop my father's casket.

Men, in the midst of the ceremony of this Sunday's Super Bowl, there are some teachable moments. The singing of the national anthem is one such moment. Take a moment, bask in the glory of this majestic piece of music and take time to help your children appreciate the greatness of our country -- one nation, under God -- a place unlike any on earth.

Game On! - Party Down!

2012-01-24T15:34:00.001-06:00

The NFL Super Bowl is the crowning contest of one of the most popular sports in the world. In addition to the sporting event, the Super Bowl is the number-two party date in the United States, surpassed only by New Year's Eve. This year promises to be no exception, as hosts all around the country are planning their get-togethers. Whether it's a small gathering of a few friends or hundreds of fans meeting in a local ballroom, each party will have one thing in common: traditions.

For some the tradition starts with the "man cave." It's often the one day in the year when women are allowed to enter the inner sanctum (the "holy of holies," if you will) of the man cave. There they will experience all the heady, atmospheric ambience an 80-inch flat screen television with Dolby Surround Sound can deliver. With every grunt, snort and bone-cracking tackle amplified, your favorite lady may never want to visit again. On this hallowed Sunday, behemoth televisions around the world transmit play-by-play action that both mesmerizes and sustains football fans everywhere.

Super Bowl viewing is also perpetuated by tasty food selections offered to the throngs assembled for the big game. Regional varieties of cuisine will pop up here and there to be sure, but the venerated staples of guacamole, hot wings and beer cross state borders north to south and east to west. And as any party host worth his salsa knows, a Super Bowl invitation without a banquet feast of munchies is about as memorable as a Thanksgiving without the dressing.

In some years, creative, quirky and in-your-face Super Bowl commercials have made Super Sunday even more interesting, upstaging occasionally the gridiron action itself. It is the commercial breaks between plays where industry titans reinforce their brands and where fledgling upstarts hope to create an impression still remembered on Monday morning. Party goers sit spellbound, watching these ads, rating them with cheers, boos, groans and laughter. Who knows, maybe some company this year will top the "Mean Joe Greene" Coke advertisement of 1979, where a young boy gets Mean Joe's jersey and, as a result, becomes the most remembered ad ever?

Then, of course, there's the halftime spectacle -- or debacle -- as the case may be. While not infrequently an exercise in mediocrity delivered by a star in decline, this year's act promises little better, as Madonna takes the stage. Perhaps the inclusion of some circus elephants and trained monkeys will offer an entertaining diversion to whatever antics she's got up her sleeve.

We can only hope.

In the end, Super Bowl Sunday is an American institution. It might be that we could care less about who's playing, but we all know there's something good about getting together. And here's something you might not have thought of: try showing the promo for the Men's NetWork's latest Bible study, Colt McCoy: A Father, A Son, and Football (www.lhmmen.com) either before the game or (unless you have a roomful of Madonna fans) during the halftime break.

Then sometime in the weeks following the game, you can invite the guys back to your place and -- using that same monster TV you watched the Super Bowl on -- enjoy the two quick sessions of the Colt McCoy Bible study.

It's brand new; it's about personal character and football, and it shows the enduring value of living a God-centered life -- whether you're winning or losing.

Too bad the Cleveland Browns aren't in the Super Bowl this year. The timing would have been impeccable.

Putting the "Men" in Mentor - Part Two

2012-01-17T15:55:00.001-06:00

A mentor is an individual, usually an older person, who influences, teaches and counsels another person. For many of us, the first mentor we had was our dads. A father influences his children's lives forever. Fathers can mold their children's values, temperament and dreams. In fact, many of us reading this may still be trying to live up to our father's long-range hopes for us.

If you have children living at home, now is the time to talk with them and find out their interests. Discuss the future with them; it'll be here before they know it. Start sharing your values and dreams. Tell them how you felt at their age with an endless future sprawled out before you. Your perspective will serve them well.

You can do this in informal ways: walking around a zoo, shooting hoops and playing "horse," sitting on a riverbank and drowning a few worms, working on a science fair project, or any one of a hundred activities you can share with your child. As you experience things together, your child will listen carefully to what you say but, more importantly, remember forever what you do.

You can raise your child to respect the environment, by respecting the environment yourself. You can raise your child to value differences in people, as you demonstrate your own appreciation for such differences by your words and deeds. You can raise your child to attend church by attending church with them. Thankfully, it's not rocket science; kids mirror what they see -- good and bad.

Children watch and listen; then they repeat what they see and hear.

And they're very good at repeating what they see and hear.

Dads, you are the first mentor your child has. But there are children all around you that do not have a dad in their lives. Perhaps their dad is separated from them temporarily; he might be in the military and deployed. Maybe he works out of town and has to be gone; maybe he has other obligations that take him away from the family.

When dads are absent from home life, their children miss out on important mentoring experiences. That is where you can play an important role in these kids' lives. You can seek out and include those children without dads in their lives, as you mentor your own children. What a great service that would be!

Note: The Men's NetWork has started a special Forum topic about mentors, available through the Men's NetWork page: www.lhmmen.com. Check it out. See what you think. Send us a comment or two.

This is a conversation worth having.

Putting the "Men" in Mentor

2012-01-10T15:45:00.001-06:00

A mentor is an individual, usually an older person, who influences, teaches and counsels another person. For many of us, the first mentor we had was our dads. They taught us how to ride a bike, pound a nail, cut the grass, drive a car and imparted lots of other useful skills. Our dads also taught us about respect, honesty, loyalty and chivalry. They advised us on what to look for in a future spouse, how to balance a checkbook and how to grill a steak on an open fire. Each year our dads coached us, advised us and counseled us on matters of life -- from business dealings to social skills. Many of the lessons we learned from our dads are, or will be, lessons we pass on to our sons.

But for many of us, other older men have also stepped up and relayed their wisdom. For me there was a neighboring man who gave me helpful advice on my career. He took it upon himself to look after me, guide me, and offer me his personal knowledge, as I entered my chosen career. I will never forget his instructions, and I can easily say I wouldn't have had near the success I enjoyed without his able mentoring.

Another influential mentor in my life was a supervisor. He went above and beyond his managerial role and took time to teach me lessons that have helped me more than once. Without his influence, I would not be the person I am today. These two men -- along with my father -- had a strong impact in shaping the person I am today. They all have been called home to heaven now, but their lessons and teachings will live on through me.

All three men were very different men in their lives and skills, but all three shared three important traits: they were interested in helping me grow; they stayed with me for many years, and they did not shy away from pointing out a fault.

To be a mentor is perhaps the best way to influence another generation. I encourage each of you to seek out someone to walk beside and help them grow in ways that only you can provide. It's an awesome position to fill in the life of another, and it's a privilege when one trusts you enough to allow you that role.

I would also encourage you to thank the mentors in your life, especially while it is still possible. It might surprise you to hear their response.

Note: The Men's NetWork has started a special Forum topic about mentors, available through the Men's NetWork page: www.lhmmen.com. You are definitely invited to participate.

Untrimming the Tree

2012-01-04T14:52:00.001-06:00

As I exited the security area at the Milwaukee airport, I glanced up to see the sign "recombobulation area." Here were tables, chairs and a quiet place to recombobulate -- i.e. reorganize and repack -- all the discombobulated items tossed in the bins when passing through security. The sign and area are the brainchild of Mitchell International Airport Director Barry Bateman. He thought it would be a fun way to take some of the stress out of travel.

So maybe that's what we need now at the end of the Christmas season -- a time to recombobulate, a time to do some "untrimming." This would be when we carefully remove, rewrap and re-store each ornament from the tree, when we carefully rewind the strings of lights -- both from the tree and from the front lawn and, finally, when we remove the tree from the living room. For the purists, that means wrapping the tree in a large, plastic garbage bag to minimize needle drop, as the tree is dragged out the door to the curb. For the rest of us, it means finding a way to systematically fold the plastic branches in such a way as to allow maximum tree life in years to come. This year I will attempt a trick few have tried and even fewer have accomplished. I will drape a sheet over the tree and store it -- fully assembled and strung with lights. Pulling this feat off requires a large enough storage space to accommodate a tree for 11 months and a partner with strong enough hands to keep the tree level when positioning it. All in all, the untrimming process is necessary, but it's not something especially looked forward to. In retrospect, we often spend three to four weeks getting everything just right for a three-hour party. The trimming was more fun than the untrimming will ever be.

It's much like when I visit family for the holidays. I anticipate the visit, the time together, and the chance to laugh and reminisce with family, only to face the difficult time to leave. Saying "hello" is fun; saying "goodbye," well, not so much.

This year I have a picture of our daughter holding the grandbabies in her arms, as she stands by the window, and the babies are waving bye-bye. Then there's the grandson who climbed the back of the couch, so he could wave out the front window, as we walked away. Saying goodbye to the rest of the family was no easier, knowing we might not see each other for a good, long time.

I may not like the untrimming or the goodbyes, but I will continue to trim and say hello. Such is the nature of Christmas celebrations, with their time for special decorations, gifts and family visits.

So it is I am already looking forward to 2012's year-end round of holidays and family celebrations. It will be fun to decorate, gift and visit. No amount of untrimming or goodbyes will ever dampen the anticipation of the trimming and hellos to come.

And isn't that one of the true wonders of the season -- how it renews itself in our hearts each and every year?

We pray you have a blessed 2012, filled with lots of opportunities to celebrate and rejoice!

End Times

2011-12-27T12:20:00.001-06:00

The end of December is traditionally the time to pause and take stock of the year just past. We soon will have an opportunity to watch highlight reels that feature the best of the year's events in sports, politics, economics and entertainment. We can relive the best and the worst that 2011 offered. Such is the nature of December, when we end one year and look forward to the start of another.

This past week, however, gave me pause to ponder a different slant on the end of the year. I received word my uncle had passed away. I attended the funeral and was struck by the realization that he was the last living member of my father's generation. When I returned home from his funeral I received word a good friend of ours was called home -- suddenly and unexpectedly. I was making plans to attend his funeral, when I was admitted into the hospital myself -- again very unexpected and sudden.

It was then I began to ponder how ready I was for the end times. What if I were to be called home right now? Have I provided for my family? Will there be funds to pay the bills? Have I made my wishes known about the disposition of my things? Will my heirs know what charities I want to support with my estate? Will my wife know my funeral wishes: hymns, scripture readings and such? Will someone have enough information to fill in the obituary items like my date of birth, place of birth, survivors, those that preceded me in death, final resting place, etc.? What will people remember about me?

I know it is not something guys -- or anybody for that matter -- like to think about, especially when we are younger, but it is something we should plan for now. Perhaps it's time to pause and take stock of your past and where your future may be going. Now is the time to attend those details that help and comfort your family.

One thought struck me as I lay in the hospital bed those lonely, early morning hours recently. Surely, the greatest comfort my family has is knowing the answer to the question of eternity about me; I am confident I will spend eternity in heaven.

As we look back over 2011, let's take time to look forward too. The future will be here before you know it.

Truly, the best is yet to come!

Happy New Year!

Immanuel

2011-12-20T15:13:00.001-06:00

This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a Son, and you are to give Him the Name Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins."

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will conceive and give birth to a Son, and they will call Him Immanuel" (which means "God with us").

Matthew 1:18-23

From our homes to yours, we at the Men's NetWork pray you have a joy-filled celebration of our Lord's birth.

God Bless and Merry Christmas!

Deck the House - and Lawn

2011-12-13T15:54:00.001-06:00

Recently a few of my neighborhood friends and I were visiting out by the curb in front of my house. Among them was a first-time father of a baby boy. With his son content in his dad's arms, I was telling him how Christmas preparations are different pre- and post-child. He began to shake his head and commented, "I guess I will have to start putting up outdoor decorations now."

A few of us season-hardened dads nodded in agreement as we recalled those carefree days when "outdoor decorations" meant a wreath on the front door and a five-dollar bill in the mailbox for the postman. We started to trade stories of tangled wires, blown fuses and standing on non-OSHA-approved perches to reach the top of the house. Each man in turn offered the same advice: "Pick a warm day for your first go-round; you'll be out there awhile." One grey-haired, outdoor décor veteran offered his sage wisdom too: "Pick white lights, string them up and leave them in place year-round. Come next December, you'll be glad you did."

I could almost see the young father's eyes start to mist as he remembered the no-small spectacle of his dad's yearly lawn-ornament-and-light show. He recalled it with great satisfaction, detailing the effort his dad put into the display. It was as if the family's social rank was somehow tied to the lumens emitted from their residence. Also counting toward a family's neighborhood prestige was the number of plastic Santas, elves, reindeer and miscellaneous figures covering the roof and lawn. It suddenly dawned on him that he was now the dad who had to protect his son's social status among his diapered peers.

As we spoke, I imagined him strolling the Christmas aisles of Home Depot. Surveying this year's inventory of blinking TV cartoon characters, inflatable snow globes (complete with Santa in a bubble) and other yard bling, he must decide what message he will send as he adorns his property in radiant light. Will he choose eco-friendly materials and energy-efficient bulbs? Will he go high-tech and synchronize his halogen, high-beam lights to an upbeat Christmas melody blasted out on Dolby surround sound speakers? Or will he take an eclectic approach and mix it all up with a fan-animated Santa that bobs and weaves; blue, electric icicles hanging off the gutters; glowing candy canes on the roof marking out a landing strip for Santa's gift-laden chariot and other priceless kitsch.

As the older men pondered this young dad's pending dilemma, one grandpa shared his minimalist approach: "I just like to put out a Nativity set. It gives the best light of all."

Steer Into the Skid

2011-12-06T15:31:00.001-06:00

For those who learned to drive in regions where snow and ice are commonplace, you learned the fundamental driving maneuver to compensate for a loss of traction when driving a rear-wheeled car: steer into the skid. For those of you who learned how to drive in areas without snow and ice, a skid happens when the front wheels and the back wheels head in opposite directions. For example, if I am travelling down a highway and wish to turn to the right, I would turn my steering clockwise with my front wheels following suit. This maneuver, ideally, means my car would turn to the right. However, if I am on a slippery surface like ice and snow, the back of the car continues forward without turning. This results in a skid, a fishtail effect that removes all control from my hands. This leaves the car sliding, following Newton's laws of motion. Uncorrected, the car threatens my safety and the safety of everyone in my path.

Thus, all drivers are taught defensive moves to regain control of a skidding car. The measures are summed up in this phrase: "steer into the skid." The driver is to remove his foot from the accelerator, slowly apply a light, pumping pressure to the brakes, and turn the steering wheel into the direction the back of the car is headed. If you watch enough high-speed car chases on TV, you will see this theory put into practice. If you live in a climate with ice or snow, you will test the theory yourself. Hence, all beginning drivers should be taught how to steer into the skid.

This concept can also be applied to guys as they live out their daily lives. Eventually, a man will fall into an unexpected, uncontrolled skid. This "skid" typically involves a situation where self-control and calm lose out to anger, frustration and other kneejerk reactions in the face of unexpected stress. For example, you may be cruising through your day when all of a sudden you're blindsided: you enter your house and are immediately hit with "You are late!" or "You forgot to call!" or "Why am I the last to know!" or something similar. We've all been there, haven't we? In those moments, we're turning one way when all of a sudden the traction of our emotions is gone, and we find ourselves skidding in a different direction -- into a sure and sudden confrontation.

It is then our defensive driving techniques can save us and the ones we're about to plow into. We can take our foot off the accelerator of our anger, slowly and gently pump the brakes of our listening skills, and head into the skid. We can then better maneuver our attitude, catch our breath and find out what really is the issue. By doing so, we reject the nasty impulse to continue our collision course, which would most likely begin with a glare and end with a heated remark. By ignoring every rash move that comes to mind and asking in a calm voice what the issue really is -- and then actually listening -- we can regain control and avoid the damage caused by an out-of-control skid of anger.

If you've ever experienced the relief of regaining control of a skidding car, you can appreciate that sometimes we have to ignore our first instincts and steer into the skid.

Watch out this Christmas season for unexpected places where you may have to apply this driving principle. Like holiday shoppers ... they're everywhere

T'was the Night after Thanksgiving - with Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

2011-11-29T15:53:00.001-06:00

T'was the night after Thanksgiving when all through the town,
Not a person was smiling; they all had a frown.
The mall doors were all locked; they were guarded with care;
In hopes that hoards of shoppers would soon arrive there.

The clerks stood ready, all dressed in holiday red,
While visions of full registers danced in their heads.
Then mama in her PJs, and I in my vest,
Climbed out of our tent, ahead of the rest.

Now out in the parking lot, arose a clatter,
We all turned to see just what was the matter.
In unison we craned our necks longing to see,
Yet keeping our place in line we wanted to be.

The red and blue lights from the top of the car,
Proved a dignitary was close, coming from far.
When what to our disbelieving eyes should appear,
But the CEOs of ev'ry store we held dear.

They spread through the crowd, somewhat panicked and thick;
They jumped up on a stage, erected so quick.
An emcee appeared, and out of the car he came,
And introduced them-called them each by name.

From Macy's, Best Buy, Target, Wal-Mart and more,
Kmart, and Dillards, Kohl's and one other store,
To the front of the line, to the end of the mall,
Now please listen to us, please listen to all.

Christmas gifts for the family are all very fine,
But this is the year you must all draw the line.
You see, it's not the cash or the size of the box,
And it's not the money; why put yourself in hock?

Rather, it's the time you will give that means the most,
It's the stories you tell, the occasional toast.
So dash away, dash away, dash away all;
On to your houses, now leave this here mall.

Off the stage strode the CEOs one and all
From their limos on cell phones they all made a call.
Christmas time is just perfect for lots of nice presents,
But what family needs most is your generous presence.

Letters

2011-11-22T15:15:00.001-06:00

The brothers gathered together to survey the room full of goods. Mom and dad had wanted all of their possessions to be divided among their children and it was now time. A plan was formulated that would ensure that each sibling would receive that which had meaning to him or his family. Some pieces were easy - gifts that had been given reverted back to the original giver, the organ would be passed on to the organ player, and since there were three brothers, any collection was divided three ways.

The day grew long as each item brought forth a time of remembering. "Do you remember when Dad brought that home?" "I can still see mom's smile when she was able to buy that." More stories were shared than items divided - but that was the nature of the day.

One box held a pleasant surprise - mom had saved every one of dad's letters to her. They were engaged to be married, but the war interrupted their plans. He donned the uniform and was stationed in Europe - part of a medical unit that treated frontline casualties. She stayed home and worked in a factory, buying war bonds and collecting items for the war effort. Each sacrificed for the good of the other, and shared their life in letters. He shared what he could about his days, careful not to reveal war-sensitive information; she sharing what she could about her days, careful not to reveal any upsetting information.

The brothers sat down and started through the box. The prose bespoke their heartache of separation, their devotion to each other, and their willingness to sacrifice for the good of the country. But most of all they shared their hopes and dreams for the future - a time of peace, a time of family, a time of love. They left a legacy of love and courage to their children.

Men, when was the last time you wrote your wife a love letter? There is something about taking a pen to paper and pouring out your heart's feelings that is special - both for you and for her. You don't have to be a polished writer, just heartfelt and honest. If the very thought of her brings a smile to your lips, then tell her that. If you can't wait to see her at the end of a hard day, tell her that. If you love the way she laughs, her cooking, or how she cries at movies - tell her that.

Mom and Dad were not writers, but they wrote from their heart. Mom tied a blue ribbon around her letters, dad kept his in a cigar box, but both read and reread them many times. Every now and then one was tear-stained, or folded over to fit in a pocket, but all were saved for a lifetime.

Guys, there is no time like now to write a letter.

It's OK to Fail?

2011-10-25T15:31:00.001-05:00

I admit it; I haven't set foot in a grade school classroom for some time. I was surprised when I did go to visit a fifth grade teacher. The classroom was similar to what I remembered, there were desks and bulletin boards and a teacher's desk, but there were some things I didn't see - like a chalkboard, blue inked ditto papers and rows of desks. Instead I saw something called a "SMART board," "QR codes" and "clusters". This was not the world I was used to seeing in grade school.

I really wasn't prepared to hear the words, "It is OK if the student fails." Now I know that the teacher said something else after that, but I stopped listening at the "OK to fail" part. Now in my day it was unacceptable to fail. A student was expected to get it right - all the time. If my teacher had told my dad it was OK for me to fail - I cringe at the thought.

Now in all fairness to the teacher, the math program in use now is one that is designed to teach students key concepts over and over again. For example, algebraic equations are introduced one week and then re-taught each succeeding week. The theory is that the student may fail the first week the concept is taught, but through constant reinforcement, will eventually learn and master the concept. Hence, it is OK to fail in the short term, knowing that the student will succeed in the long term.

As I was driving home I was thinking how that is how it works in life. I did not hit the bull's eye the first time I shot my .22 rifle. I did not bowl a strike the first time. I did not sink a free-throw the first time, and the list goes on. Perhaps it is OK for the student to fail so they can succeed in the long run.

I like the concept, but there are limits. I really don't want my son to fail the first time he tries to stop a moving car at a red light.

Conduct Unbecoming

2011-10-18T15:50:00.001-05:00

For those familiar with military parlance, the term "Conduct Unbecoming" brings to mind Article 133 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice: "Any commissioned officer, cadet, or midshipman who is convicted of conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman shall be punished as a court-martial may direct." The military understands an officer has a solemn duty to avoid dishonest acts, displays of indecency, lawlessness, unfair dealings, indecorum, injustice or acts of cruelty. When an officer displays conduct contrary to his or her duty, they can be prosecuted. Although Article 133 is specific in its treatment of military officers, perhaps this code of conduct can be used as a standard for all of us, as we carry out our responsibilities according to our various positions.

What would our families look like if husbands, fathers, step-dads, grandfathers, or anyone else who takes on a father's role in a family put themselves under this sort of scrutiny? How would it be if those acting as fathers considered it their sacred duty to avoid dishonest acts, displays of indecency, lawlessness, unfair dealings, indecorum, injustice or acts of cruelty? What if our wives or children had the power to invoke Article 133 on their husbands and fathers?

What would our workplaces look like if every employee held himself to this kind of ethical code? Now most employers do have a form of Article 133 to cover "conduct unbecoming," but what if they never had to use it? What if the conduct of employees rendered such a code obsolete?

Regrettably, this doesn't sound much like our world, does it? While that may be the case, I would add we've probably all seen the shining exceptions too. And if we haven't seen one, then perhaps we've read about men who live such exemplary lives, others can't help but want to imitate them.

In the tradition of such men, I would encourage all of us to consider how our words and deeds and thoughts reflect our conduct. With every action we leave an impression. Is our conduct unbecoming or does it bear the stamp of a life worth pursuing?

The Power of Brothers

2011-10-11T19:41:00.001-05:00

A quick review of the word "brother" reminds us that our brothers are those we share a common parent with or who share with us a common tie or interest. It is indeed important for us to celebrate our brothers, for without our brothers we would not be able to stretch our worldviews, challenge our actions or have someone who can stand with us.

I have been blessed by two brothers who have the same parents as me. As we were growing up it was my brothers who were always there. Whenever we moved into a new neighborhood, my brothers provided the social interaction I needed. As we grew, my brothers were there to provide instant feedback on how I looked, acted or drove. Their honest appraisal saved me from many a fashion faux pas, inappropriate action and, of course, traffic tickets. When I messed up, they offered words of comfort and care. The older I am, the more I appreciate and lean on my brothers.

I have been blessed by brothers who share a common interest or tie with me too. There are men who share a relationship with me through my wife -- my brothers-in-law. They love their sister enough to honor her love for me by allowing me into their lives. Our tie is not by blood, but is as strong as if we were joined by a common ancestor. I also appreciate my brothers-in-law; they have stood with me in trials, and they have taught me valuable lessons.

I have been blessed by other brothers who have become my brothers through trials or shared experiences, such as facing a common enemy, working for the same goal or sharing a work environment. These men also have stood with me through those dark times in my life, providing the support and strength I needed to move to the next stage in my life. Some of my brothers are keepers of my secrets and trust me enough not to repeat theirs. Some of my brothers are wise men I can ask for and receive words that instruct and inspire. These generous men are not shy about sharing their experiences and their wisdom. When they do, I -- and the company I keep -- all benefit.

In a world as vast as the one in which we live, it's a remarkable thing to have a brother -- blood or otherwise -- who is there for us through thick and thin and loves us enough to keep coming back for more.

Never Too Old - Never Too Young

2011-10-04T15:12:00.001-05:00

I admit I was one of the million-plus people that watched the movie Courageous this past weekend. As I settled into the theater seat beside my wife -- it was our date night -- I was struck by the wide age-range of people seated around us. There was a church group of men and women, a few grandparents scattered about, some dads sitting with their families, and others -- all waiting for the show to begin. The lights dimmed, the speakers crackled a bit and I settled in, ready to be entertained and challenged.

The movie did just that too, as it was fun to watch and got me thinking. I will refrain from sharing the plot, but I would like to share some of its challenge.

I came away from the movie with the thought that one is never too old or too young to have a meaningful conversation about one's life journey. Each of us has a story to share -- one that has shaped who we are today. Some can share about the death of a family member; some can talk about being fired from a job; some can offer revelations about temptations that seemed impossible to resist; some can reveal how their life path was permanently altered by the influence of a parent. We are who we are today because of what has happened to us in the past. It doesn't matter what our age is. We have all been shaped by people and circumstances that have come into our lives.

I think it's important we share our story, if for no other reason than to give permission to others to share their story with us. As we tell our story -- especially if we are men of faith -- we can instruct and uplift our brothers by relating how God has been at work in our life. Sure, it can be risky disclosing our weaknesses and failings, but there's an upside to this honesty: we understand our situation more clearly and our brothers gain from our experience, just as we gain from theirs.

There was encouragement in knowing there are men out there who have struggled with temptations and experiences like I have. I thank them for sharing their story with me for it empowered me to do the same with others. As a result, I resolve to share my story with those who will listen. I hope you will do the same.

One is never too young or too old to learn from a good story.

Act Like You've Been There Before

2011-09-28T07:29:00.001-05:00

Isaiah Mustafa is a name you may not know, but you probably know his face. He is the man on today's Old Spice commercials. You might also recognize him from his appearance in the film, Horrible Bosses.You may even remember he played in the 1997 Rose Bowl for the Arizona State Sun Devils and went on to play for the Titans, Raiders and Browns -- albeit on their practice squads. He recently was interviewed for a magazine article and shared some insights about the role his father and other male role models have played in his life.

He shared how his dad used to support the family as a limousine driver. He even dropped him off at school in a limousine once when he was in first grade; the other kids thought he was famous. His dad gave him a status in the school community, even if it was an accidental event.

Mustafa credited a football coach with some advice he still uses to live his life. The coach told him, "If you score a touchdown and do a crazy dance in the end zone, it tells a story. The story is that guy's never been there before. Instead, flip the ball to the ref, run back to the huddle and make your next play -- act like you've been there before."

It's interesting to watch all the dances, celebrations, leaps and taunts that NFL players exhibit after they sack a quarterback, intercept a pass or score a touchdown. As I view these gyrations, I appreciate the words of the wise coach who schooled his receiver, "Act like you've been there before." There is something to be said about the player who makes an excellent play and then calmly goes back to the huddle to do it all over again. The message is simple, but it comes through loud and clear: I've done it before and I'll do it again.

Perhaps this is a lesson we can pass on to our children: do you best, always. If you are a receiver, you are expected to make touchdowns. When you do, don't act like it's the first time you've seen the end zone. Instead, show others it's simply the last time you've scored, and there's plenty more where that came from.

In today's society we tend to think short term, focusing only on today's task. We often lose sight of the broader horizon and the knowledge that success comes with hard work and persistence. Maybe we can teach our children that the quiet dignity of a job well done is its own reward. Simple and understated, it makes the doer look like he regularly gets the job done right, and there should be no surprise he did it again.

On the other hand, there are those individuals who rarely get noticed for their unsung jobs. Let's hold the end-zone jigs and nutty dance moves for those rare times when a defensive player picks up the fumble and lumbers in to score.

Some Flowers for You

2011-09-20T15:24:00.001-05:00

Recently a speaker posed a question to his audience: "Ladies, suppose your husband came home one day and held out a bouquet of flowers for you. What would you think?" Without hesitation and with one voice, the women in the crowd shouted, "What did you do now?"

Guys, are we really that predictable?

Now it isn't that men haven't ever given women gifts like flowers. We are guys and we can give gifts if we have to, especially during the dating process. When we meet that special lady we want to spend our life with, we draw upon resources buried deep down inside and perform that which will put us in good stead with our intended. We give her flowers, hold doors open, return phone calls and even write letters. That's right. We can do some pretty amazing things.

But somewhere after the "I dos" we seem to fall into a lackluster routine when it comes to wowing the lady of our dreams. We tend to lapse into a mentality that says, "I love you. I said it once. If it changes, I'll let you know." Oh, once in awhile we step up and give her a surprise. For example, when my first child was born I gave my wife a dozen roses; after number two came around I gave her a dozen daisies; after number three I gave her a potted plant, and after number four I went the plastic flower route -- just in case number five came along, I was covered. Yep, we can rise to the occasion when we have to.

I did hear of one man whose wife had terminal cancer. He dug gardens all over the backyard and planted flowers so that no matter what the season, she could look out and see blooms. He also made sure there was a bouquet of fresh flowers on the kitchen table every day for her. He did this for three years until she passed away. He refused to buy funeral flowers. He said he had given her the flowers when she could appreciate them. Though this may sound extreme, is it really? You decide.

Still, perhaps we can hit a happy medium?

How about this? After you read these few words, why not go out to the grocery store, buy a nice bouquet of cut flowers, bring them home and present them to your wife? Then let us know what she says. You can send us an e-mail at mensnetwork@lhm.org.

Now if there is no wife, how about calling your mom, your sister, your aunt or some other woman in your life just because, and for no special reason. I bet that would be as unexpected as flowers.

Doing fun and unpredictable things for the women in our life lets them know what they mean to us.

And that's a good thing, isn't it?

9/11 ... Plus Two Days

2011-09-13T15:26:00.001-05:00

Last weekend I joined my brothers and sisters around the world in honoring the memory of those who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks of 10 years ago. It was hard not to show emotion as family members were ushered into the Memorial to find, remember and honor their fallen family member. It was hard not to show emotion as the children read the names of the lost and added their personal comments and memories. It was hard not to show emotion as the bells tolled in the peaceful countryside of Pennsylvania as the heroes of Flight 93 were remembered. It was hard not to show emotion as I viewed the wreckage of the Pentagon. It was an emotional weekend.

I was one of millions that watched the documentary made by Jules and Gedeon Naudet, two brothers who started out documenting the "coming of age" of a young New York firefighter and ended up documenting American Airlines Flight 11 crashing into the North Tower of the World Trade Center. The film also included scenes from inside the North Tower lobby when the South Tower collapsed. The scenes were graphic reminders of the magnitude of destruction that happened on that day.

The filmmakers remarked how they were trying to document the journey from boy into man as they followed the life of a single firefighter. They expected the journey to last many months but, instead, the boy grew into a man in one very long, very tragic day.

It dawned on me that many of us have grown because of the circumstances we face. We have faced natural disasters: fire, floods, hurricanes, tornados, blizzards and all other manner of natural disasters. These calamities have tested our courage, will, resources and faith. We have been victims of crime and violence that lead us to thoughts of revenge and retribution. We have heard doctors share a diagnosis -- either for us or our loved ones. The doctor calmly sets out a course of treatment, looks us in the eyes and ends with the words, "We can't guarantee results." The words "courageous" and "hero" have been used many times in the last few days and with good reason. I would apply those words to all of us who have faced the trials that life hands out, as well.

It also occurred to me how the truly courageous man is the one who lives his life with integrity and transparency. He resists the changing winds of popular culture and the fickle nonsense of public opinion; he seeks a steady course. In so doing, he leads his family, performs his work and influences his community with word and deeds that strengthen and build up. His life inspires others -- not because he's a well-known national hero -- but because of the courageous life he lives every day -- with his wife, with his children and when he's alone.

What the courageous man gives contributes to the benefit of everyone he knows. He makes a difference, and the world is better for it.

Thank you for your courage and heroism.

Lessons Learned Bowling

2011-09-06T15:24:00.001-05:00

With more than 100 million bowlers in some 90 countries -- 2.6 million of those in the United States alone -- bowling is certainly one of the world's most popular sports. Tracing its long history down through the centuries, the earliest form of bowling balls and pins found thus far come from an ancient Egyptian boy's tomb. Today's bowling interest can be traced back to the movie Grease 2. This 1982 film was responsible for a new generation of youth bowlers, which has fueled the increase of bowlers since then. Another more recent boost for the sport came when Wii introduced a modern version of virtual bowling in its gaming system. Wii bowling is enjoyed by game players aged 2 through 92; it even inspires players to try their hand at the real deal.

I rolled my first strike when I was eight years old when my class went on a field trip to the local bowling alley. It was in the fifth frame, and I've been hooked on the game ever since. I started league play when I was in sixth grade, joining a father-son league with my dad. I graduated to a mixed couple's league in high school, on to a men's team in college and, finally, a Friday night league with the guys. Over the years I have learned some valuable life lessons at the bowling alley:

1. Boundaries count. Stepping over the foul line will activate a buzzer and announce to the world that one committed a foul. There is no "wiggle room" here. Once the boundary is crossed, the penalty is assessed. Too often in life we try to wiggle out of the consequences of crossing the boundary and breaking the rules.

2. It is about the team. No matter how good or bad I scored, it took a team to win the championship. Each one of the championship teams I was a member of had one thing in common: it was a team win. Over the span of the season, each member took his or her turn leading the way. Too often the emphasis is placed on the individual, not the team.

3. It is not how hard you throw the ball, but how accurate you are. I've watched bowlers hurl a lightweight ball down the alley as hard as they could, only to erratically hit the pins or dump it in the gutter. I've also watched kids push the ball down the lane with two hands and get a strike. It is all about how accurately the ball hits the pins. Too often in life, problems are approached with a heavy hand, when a light and precise touch is what is needed.

4. Shoes have to slide. If a bowling shoe sticks and doesn't slide on the approach, the bowler risks serious injury. In life too sometimes we need to slide and not worry about the steps.

5. It is my privilege to be the dad of a man who has bowled a perfect game. That's 12 strikes in a row, and it ain't easy. I am proud of his accomplishment, for it takes concentration, skill and patience to bowl a perfect game. I am also proud of him as he demonstrates the same qualities of concentration, skill and patience as he leads his family and raises his son.

Who would have thought all those hours spent in the alley would have paid off?

Labor Day

2011-08-30T08:26:00.001-05:00

This is the weekend we pay tribute to those men and women who have built America: its workers. Labor Day was begun as a commemoration of those who died in the 1894 Pullman Strike and has evolved over the years to a celebration of all workers and the unofficial end of summer. Labor Day today is a time for picnics, barbecues, fireworks displays, water sports, rallies and parades. I plan on spending this Labor Day like many of you, enjoying a day off, firing up the grill and perhaps taking a drive -- just to watch the sunset. But I will also spend this Labor Day in a time of remembrance and commemoration of one of the hardest workers I have ever had the privilege to know: my father-in-law.

My father-in-law (Dad) counted his life in many parts. Born in 1906, his early years were spent on the home place in rural Indiana. He was brought up to respect honesty and God and he went to church every Sunday. He was a young man during Great Depression. He took to riding the rails as a hobo, searching for the elusive job that would let him settle down. He told stories of how he worked as a soda jerk, saloon keeper, pool hustler and radio singer. It was this last career that led him to his wife: he would sing hymns on the radio and she just had to meet the man with the gentle voice.

The next great era in his life revolved around his family. He settled down in a small, two-bedroom home and raised five children, making sure each one went to a Lutheran school and attended church every Sunday. He worked long, hard hours at the local steel mill, standing in front of a blast furnace, absorbing the heat of molten steel as it was poured out of the giant ladle to be molded into ingots. The blast furnace took its toll on his body and arthritis ate away at the joints of his hands, neck and back. But he never quit, always making sure his family had a roof over its head, food on the table and clothes to wear to church.

Sadly, I only knew him at the end of his life. Shortly before he retired he was able to walk his daughter down the church aisle to place her hand into mine. We all had tears in our eyes as he whispered, "Good luck and God bless."

His lifelong dream was to see the home of Harry S. Truman in Independence, Missouri. He drove his bride of over 40 years to see Truman's house and shortly after, he was called to heaven. Dad was a working man who had his priorities straight. He was loved and respected by all who knew him. He judged no man, but was judged honest by all who knew him. His word was his bond and he worked hard to give his family something that lives beyond him: sound principles for living and an enduring example of the value of knowing God.

This Labor Day I honor one of the best laborers I've ever known -- a true workman in God's Kingdom.

Hurry Up and Wait

2011-08-23T15:12:00.001-05:00

For many of us, the saying "hurry up and wait" brings back unpleasant memories of standing in long lines, sometimes in the dark and cold, waiting for something to happen. Men are not built to stand around and wait. Unfortunately, patience isn't usually one of the traits men are best known for. Nope, on the contrary, action and drive would definitely trump patience in most men.

I witnessed the hurry-up-and-wait phenomenon the other day on the highway. The flashing road sign let drivers know the left lane was closed one mile ahead -- and that's all it took. It was as if a red flag was waved in front of a bull, as car after car sped up and pulled into the left lane. And what was their destination? Why the front of the line, of course. That was the hurry-up part. The wait part came when the cars in the left lane had to slow to a stop until some generous soul in the right lane let them merge. I confess there are days when I purposely box out the hurry-up drivers so I don't have to wait.

For many guys patience is a word that doesn't quite capture a trait they possess. Many businesses know this quality about men and have made their products accordingly: quick-dry paint, instant glue, the car pool lane, the airport fly-by, check-in line, the-ten-items-or-less grocery check-out line, and one of my favorites: quick-set concrete.

While these conveniences are handy, still, sometimes the hurry-up thing isn't the best route to take.

I admit I use a gas grill, but for an Omaha Steak I get out the Kingsford briquets, douse them with lighter fluid and patiently wait for the coals to glow red orange. Sure, it may take longer, but you know and I know it's worth it. The same principle applies with primer and paint. I've used a paint-and-primer concoction, but nothing beats a coat of primer followed by a few coats of premium paint -- a day or two later. And here's one we all probably know. It may be faster to step on a chair to change the ceiling light bulb, but lots of pain and suffering can be avoided by taking the time to get the ladder out of the garage.

Patience is also a good thing when it comes to raising children. I have found it better to take the time to listen to why they came home after curfew than to hurry up and ground them when they open the door. It's also beneficial to wait until all the facts are given when listening to the teacher discuss your child's behavior. And it's always a good thing to sit patiently in the passenger's seat and hold one's tongue when teaching a teenager how to drive.

Men, there is a time for everything -- even patience -- and getting some is worth being in a hurry about.

Welcome Back Football

2011-08-16T15:01:00.001-05:00

It seems it's been a lifetime since the Green Bay Packers defeated the Pittsburg Steelers at Cowboys Stadium to capture the Super Bowl XLV championship. It seems even longer that the Montreal Alouettes bested the Saskatchewan Roughriders to capture the 98th Grey Cup Championship. Even the Auburn win over Oregon to capture the BCS Championship game is fading from memory. I ran through my checklist the other night just to make sure everything was set for the new season.

DVR ready - check!
Recliner oiled - check!
Beverages stocked (with fail-safe strategy for replenishment) check!
Sports channels set as "favorites" - check!
Foam finger, hats and pennants cleaned - check!
Snacks secured - check!
Ready for some major football - check!

Looks like I'm good for the go and if was just me, well, I'd be set. But, of course, there's my bride to consider too. Now truth be told she doesn't always appreciate the fascination I have for TV football. She is of the opinion that time spent watching game after game is time that could be spent better. I explained to her that watching football gives me the chance to learn some helpful strategies for life. Not surprisingly, she appeared unconvinced, until I gave her some concrete specifics.

For example, it isn't always the biggest player who wins; sometimes the kicker can save a touchdown with a tackle. Strategy: I need to remember I must not depend on brute force, but that a well executed approach may be just the thing to tackle a big problem.

I learned any given team can win on any given day, regardless of past success. Strategy: This translates into the knowledge that I can't coast on past successes; instead, I need to constantly be learning new skills and practicing old ones.

I've observed the player with the dirtiest uniform usually is the one making the biggest contribution. Strategy: I have to be involved and get into the trenches to make a difference. I can't just sit on the sidelines and watch the game; I have to play.

Important as these strategies are that I've gained from watching football on TV, I did make a helpful discovery based on my wife's observation. It even led to a game-changing decision.

I will watch one less game of football a week this coming season and take time to be involved with my wife and family.

Looks like it's going be a winning season for me!

Back to School

2011-08-09T17:12:00.001-05:00

Nothing brings back memories like a familiar smell, and few smells are more memorable than a new box of crayons, fresh pencil shavings and creamy, white glue. Together these signal the greatest of all seasonal events: the start of the school year! Millions of North American children are busy preparing for the start of classes. Soon these same children will step down off of school busses, disembark from the family car and enter school classrooms (loaded with their own characteristic smells, by the way) where they will hang on every word their teachers have to say. Okay, that last part is a bit of an exaggeration. Nonetheless, every one of us has experienced that first day of school angst.

Guys, it's also back-to-school time for us. Now for some it is literally a time to go back to school as many look for a new degree, a new skill or a new knowledge to serve them well for an uncertain job market. For most of us, however, back to school is something we look back on and not forward to. But maybe this school year we can be more than the ATM that pays for school supplies. Perhaps this year we can figuratively go back to school and become involved in the lives of the school children around us.

For fathers of school-aged children, this is fairly easy to do. Make it a point this year to be at your child's parent-teacher conferences, recitals, field trips or sporting events. It would be a great thing for you and your child if you took a lunch break and ate with your child at school. Get involved with their homework. Share your knowledge and impress the kids with your grasp of life. Dads involved in the school make memories that will last for generations.

If you have no school-aged children, you can volunteer at your local school anyway. After a simple background check, you would be welcomed as a story reader for younger children, or you could be a homework consultant. One school district I knew of had dads come in after school and teach the children how to build birdhouses and other simple workshop projects.

Men, check out a local school and see if you can get involved. You will be glad you did.

Lead Us Not Into Temptation

2011-08-02T17:07:00.001-05:00

Do you remember when the future held nothing but promise? The uncharted lands over the horizon were as tantalizing as the prospect of finding a new continent. Somewhere up ahead, an exciting career, a luxurious automobile and a beautiful wife were just waiting to be discovered. It all seemed perfectly sensible. Sure, intertwined with the advances in income, the warehouse of personal goods and the wife who - amazingly -- got lovelier with age would be an occasional setback. I mean you weren't totally unrealistic, right?

Nowhere in your playbook of the future did long hours at work, unreasonable bosses, unsatisfying honey-do jobs and costly car maintenance, endless kid issues, rising interest rates and falling property values, a tanking economy and the daily aching of your body come into play.

Nevertheless, even with these disappointments, you know you're lucky. You still have the beautiful girl you married, and she's hung with you -- through it all. You remember it well. The day she walked down the aisle to be your "lawful wedded wife," she was a vision of loveliness: one that quickened your pulse and put a smile on your face. What a day it was the day you married! Your new lives were underway.

But time has a way of changing things, doesn't it? Perceptions shift. Unshakeable resolves come into question. Commitments seem negotiable. The melancholy of discarded dreams, the disillusionment of family life and the financial millstones that want to drag us under all lay heavy on the heart.

It is in these times when temptations to do wrong -- to abandon what we know is right -- can make a convincing argument. Times of testing are faced by every man and they define what he is made of. For some temptation comes in the form of a bottle and the escape drunkenness brings. For some temptation comes in the form of "me time" -- a distraction that mutes the world of responsibilities. For some temptation arrives via the television or Internet, which offer an endless stream of fantasy images that preoccupy our minds and derail our devotion.

When we're weak, tired and worn out, temptations strike for the jugular. It's then when just about any suggestion, no matter how outlandish, seems somehow ... plausible. No man is immune from temptation, but every man is capable of resisting, especially with other guys at their side -- men who have fought the fight and can offer encouraging words of practical advice and hard-earned wisdom.

But even as valuable as our brothers' support and good sense is in our struggle with temptation, there is still a better way. And that's turning the temptation over to God and relying on the One who was tempted in every way as a man -- but never sinned.

His Name is Jesus, and in Him is the fullest life possible.

Be the Dad

2011-07-26T17:14:00.001-05:00

Being a father is hard work, especially as our children face unprecedented trials and temptations. Today's children have access to more information than any other generation in the history of the world. Today's children face an uncertain economic future loaded with escalating financial burdens for education, taxes, healthcare and a rising cost of living. Today's children live in a world where the church is deemed unimportant, irrelevant and intrusive. It is hard to parent as we were parented, for we are living in a new world.

Recently, Universal Music Group vice president and father of three, Tom Sturges, who recently penned the book, Grow the Tree You Got & 99 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing Adolescents and Teenagers, shared a few of his golden rules for staying close to your kids in Spirit magazine:

Embrace Kindness. "Be nice every chance you get," says Sturges, whose own father, the legendary film director Preston Sturges, died when Tom was just a boy. "Even if your child did something that disappointed you, or he's in the middle of studying, walk in and give him a hug."

Keep It Down. "You're going to get upset with your children. But when you do, whisper rather than yell. I always try to show the greatest respect in everything I do, and by whispering when I'm upset, I believe I underscore how much I do, in fact, respect my child."

Build Seven Bridges. "Parents need to have more than one route into their child's life. You can't leave it at 'because we live together we're close.' Strive to build at least seven bridges into your son or daughter's world. Maybe that's a team you root for together, a hobby you both enjoy, or a spiritual element you share."

Let Them Be Beautiful. "However your children feel beautiful, let them be. If your son wants to grow his hair past his collar, say, 'OK.' If your daughter wants to wear camo, let her choose her beauty. It's the parents' job to help their child figure out the person she's meant to be, and then help her become that person."

I would offer one more suggestion to his list:

Build a solid foundation. Read the Bible to your child, Talk about the personal, significant parts of the Bible, share how faith is important to you and pray for your children -- and with them -- aloud.

Much of being a dad is being there.

Warning!

2011-07-19T16:17:00.001-05:00

With the majority of the country under an Excessive Heat Warning, Red Flag Warning or hazardous weather outlook it will be ridiculously hot in the days ahead. This week's severe heat wave will likely set new records in the burn zone as daytime temps in more than 40 states are expected to crest the mid-90s -- or higher! Once the humidity is factored in, it will feel like it's somewhere between 105 and 110 degrees out there. Hello summer!

Weather extremes have been the unfortunate norm lately: record winter snowfalls, severe spring rainstorms, floods and tornado warnings have now given way to scorching heat. The damage to crops, real estate and the economy is brutal, but it pales when compared to the loss of life inflicted by these events. Adding to death tolls from this winter's and spring's weather events, it's expected at least 200 more people will perish on account of this summer's oppressive heat. Both the elderly and the very young face increased risk this time of year. And what's more tragic -- and more avoidable -- than the death of a child left alone in a car while his or her responsible party runs an errand?

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, "a locked car sitting in the summer sun quickly turns into an oven, with temperatures climbing from 78 degrees to 100 degrees in just three minutes and to 125 degrees in 6-8 minutes." Children's body temperatures warm at a rate three to five times faster than an adult's, and it only takes a core body temperature of 107 degrees to prove deadly. A young child can perish in a very short time locked in a hot car. And that goes for pets too.

Men, weather warnings and heat-index ratings are given to protect life and minimize injuries. There have been so many warnings this past year we might be starting to downplay or even ignore their severity. We do so at our peril. In this world where alarms of all sorts are increasingly common, be sure to stay sharp to the realities of a blistering summer sun and the suffocating heat that can build up inside a car in only a few minutes -- even with the windows cracked.

Men, I cannot imagine what it would be like to cause the death of a child who has been left to suffer in a hot car. I would not want anybody to endure that loss. Think about the life of that kid who's riding with you. Probably the last thing on his or her mind is their personal safety.

For that, they're counting on you.

All Stars

2011-07-12T16:17:00.001-05:00

Thousands of fans from around the world will descend on Chase Field in Arizona tonight to watch the 82nd Major League Baseball All-Star game between the best of the best from the National and the American League team rosters. With the National League holding a slight advantage in wins (40-38, with 2 ties and no game played in 1945), the boys from the American League will look to better their record, while the National League sluggers will go for the win and increase their margin. It promises to be a fun, good-natured rivalry and a chance to see the best players showcase their talents. It's also a time we can pause and remind ourselves there just might be a few heroes left in the world for kids to look up to.

Down through the years young boys have shared one common dream -- to be just like their favorite baseball player, hitting home runs, striking out powerful sluggers, stealing bases and snagging fly balls to the wild cheers of the crowd. Pitchers and fleet-footed runners are exciting, but the homer brings the fans to their feet. The names may have changed through the years: Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays, Ernie Banks, Ken Griffey, Jr., Mark McGwire and Albert Pujols, but the long-ball hitters are the guys boys want to be like.

But alas, summer does not last forever. Once the leaves begin to fall and the air starts to chill the boys of summer start to fade. Though kids may still tack up posters, trade baseball cards and re-hash the season just past, they'll have to wait months before they're outside again throwing sliders, catching grounders, and hitting home runs. As they wait for next spring's green grass, they can lose sight of the traits their hero passes on: hard work, dedication, loyalty, teamwork and commitment.

It's not just MLB players that have those traits: dads, step-dads, grandfathers, uncles, brothers, brothers-in-law and others go quietly about their day demonstrating hard work, dedication, loyalty, teamwork and commitment. They may not be batting .375, have an ERA of 1.2 or have a Gold Glove Award. Still -- and more importantly -- they step up to the plate every day serving their families and doing what it takes to make a positive contribution. They don't work for headlines, trophies, titles or endorsements; they labor for the good of their communities, their churches, their employers and, most of all, their home teams.

These guys are the real All-Stars, and we salute you!

The Road Less Travelled

2011-07-06T10:11:00.001-05:00

When I was a freshman in high school my Dad came into my room one evening and asked if he could talk with me. He shared a little from his life in high school, you know, what it was like "back in the day." He spoke about his favorite subject, his teachers and his dates. We reminisced for awhile, and then he delivered some lines of poetry he learned in his high school class. It was a poem by Robert Frost. You may have read it yourself. It's called "The Road Not Taken."

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

My Dad hesitated on the last stanza. I thought he had forgotten the words, but he spoke them loud and clear. He paused and then recalled some of the roads less traveled he had trod in his own life.

He then asked something of me that to this day strikes me as profound. He wanted me to remember the road less traveled -- though it may appear hard and lonely -- is one that charts new territory and moves to the beat of a different drummer. And while it may appear to wind away from the crowds and the familiar, it is -- for that reason -- traveled in honesty and guided by one's own compass.

Over the years I have gratefully remembered that night and, because of it, often taken the road less traveled. And while there may have been an easier passage, there was none truer.

I pray each dad will share with his children that the road best taken might just be the road less traveled.

Independence Day

2011-06-28T16:53:00.001-05:00

The "whomp" announces the ignition of the blasting powder; the tail of sparks traces the flight of the rocket into the night sky; the sudden burst of color and the thunder of the explosion announce to the world that our country is celebrating its national birthday. Yes, this weekend countless people across North America will crane their necks heavenward and take in the sights and sounds of a yearly fireworks display. For Canadians the celebration of Canada Day is July 1st; for Americans, of course, the celebration kicks off on July 4th, Independence Day. Each year a nationwide barrage of modern rockets are let loose on the summer skies, orchestrated to inspire a sense of wonder and patriotism as exploding colors sparkle the night to the "ohs" and "ahs" of crowds below registering their sense of awe and appreciation. These fireworks remind us the cost of our freedoms came at the expense of the fight our forefathers waged.

Each year I join with my countrymen and find thrills and inspiration at these displays of fireworks. The spectacle also triggers sobering thoughts about the hefty price our freedoms have cost. The cliché "freedom is not free" is one of the world's all-time great truths. Throughout our country's history brave and determined warriors have followed their convictions and fought for the belief that this country's citizens have the right to live free from oppression. Today, that determination of living free is still a hallmark of service in our armed forces. And so it must be. For the battle against tyranny never stops and each generation must take up the cause afresh.

This weekend I will pause to thank and honor those who have fought for me. I am thankful I live in a country where I can worship God freely and openly. I am thankful I live in a country where I am free to express my faith. I am thankful I live in a country where I can share the Gospel openly.

As the dying embers and rocket debris fall to the ground when the fireworks have ended, I will remember that our freedoms are not only earned and protected -- but like muscles, they are to be exercised. I will flex mine by sharing the Gospel through my words and actions -- thankful that Jesus earned my eternal freedom through the life He gave for my -- and the world's -- sins.

Try thinking about that the next time you feel oppressed.

Happy Independence Day!

Vacation

2011-06-21T16:33:00.000-05:00

After the record snowfalls of last winter and the savage storms of this past spring, today, June 21, we welcome summer. What summer will bring is yet to be seen. But no matter what is ahead, one thing is for certain: summer remains that time of the year when millions head out on that annual respite known as "the family vacation."

Whether sailing the high seas or jetting to some distant destination, families are looking forward to exploring exotic locations, while getting pampered in the process. During these much-anticipated junkets parents look forward to their children being entertained and fussed over while the grown-ups enjoy time alone for adult activities. The demands of home and job are forgotten as the family is taken care of in a way that will make life-long memories.

Some families will be driving across the country to experience the sights and sounds up close and personal. They look forward to showing the children the history and beauty of this nation, seeing with their own eyes the places they read about in history books. Long days of road tripping are washed away as the family jumps into a motel pool and savors local fare at an area diner. Parents relish their family's time together as they share classic anecdotes, favorite stories and songs they've all sung for years. Children call out with the obligatory "Are we there yet?" as they scan a countryside they've never seen before or haven't seen since last year's trip.

Some families are taking to the roads to connect with far-flung kinfolk who live at the end of the journey. Here the grandchildren get bounced on their grandparent's knees, nieces and nephews catch up on the exciting events taking place in their lives and cousins relive the days spent at the "children's table." Visiting family members living in different parts of the country ties the generations together with the thread of common experiences.

Some families opt out from hitting the road and try the "staycation" route. On this vacation, routine goes out the window as children get ice cream for supper, roast hot dogs over the grill for breakfast and parents are the ones sleeping in. On this go-nowhere venture, parents have to be careful not to slip into an un-fun routine of working around the house though. Nothing takes the sweetness out of time off from work than time spent working at home. Done right this break is perfect for movie marathons, going to ballgames, family bike rides, a day trip to a local museum, kids camping in the backyard and loads of sugar.

Summer vacation -- it's when the days last longer, the stars shine brighter and a field of fireflies turn on and off like little, floating lanterns, waiting for kids to cup them in their hands and drop them in a mason jar, complete with air holes punched in the top.

Whether you are planning a road trip or a stay-at-home vacation, I would suggest one activity that would be beneficial would be to let the family see a different side of you. Use this time to let your kids know what it was like when you were their age; tell them what you dreamed about as a kid; let them know you were young once -- and cool! Summer vacation is also a good time to tell them about their grandparents and the great parents you had. Through it all share with your kids how important God is in your life. Fortunately, the easiest way to do that is by just being there with them, loving them and having a blast together.

And isn't that what a summer vacation is all about?

Happy first day of summer!

Father's Day ~ 2011

2011-06-14T16:20:00.001-05:00

Let's face it, it's often easier to surprise dad with a gift on Father's Day then it was to surprise mom on Mother's Day. Now I may be stretching it a bit here, but I believe it's because dads are easy -- at least when it comes to gifts. Most guys are happy with anything that has buttons, electronics or makes noise. Hence, any electronic or techno gizmo satisfies a man's gift expectations. So, an iPad, iPhone or anything with an "i" in front of it is sure to be a hit. Also anything requiring batteries is good, as would be just about anything related to a sport he enjoys, such as tickets to watch his favorite team play. Also high on the Father's Day gift list is stuff he can use to grill: BBQ tool sets, mitts, a meat thermometer, even a light to hook on his grill cover for overnight cooking. Always appreciated too are gifts of clothing. Steer clear here though of replacing his favorite garb, such as well-worn, workshop duds, beat-up T-shirts or loose-fitting sweaters when the weather turns cooler.

Equally appreciated are those special one-of-a-kind expressions of love hand-crafted by children and presented to dad. Some of the best memories dads will recall are opening gifts of plaster-cast molds of tiny hands, cleverly made construction paper cards and abstract clay creations that bear a faint resemblance to a bird or a vase. When I look at these special crafts today, I'm instantly transported back in time and relive the moment when I looked into the expectant eyes of my child, who was anxiously waiting to see if I would love their present. Those eyes will always remind me of the great gift I received with the birth of each of my children.

Father's Day is more than a time to honor dad, it is a time when dads cherish their role as fathers. Whether you are "dad," step-dad," granddad," "great-granddad" or "dad-in-law," you have a special place in the hearts of those who call you "dad." You are their leader, their model, their mentor, their teacher and their pattern for how to deal with life. Your individual characteristics, well known phrases and social values are all placed before the next generation to model and emulate. Your values shape theirs; your actions are a living illustration on how to act; your words are often repeated -- for better or worse -- verbatim. It is how life is -- like it or not. You are the dad, the leader.

For me, the best Father's Day gift this year would be seeing how the good I've contributed to my children is easy to spot and how the bad has been -- graciously and lovingly -- forgotten.

Happy Father's Day!

Of Jackie Gleason, Homer Simpson and James Bond

2011-06-07T16:17:00.001-05:00

Television has been shaping the attitudes and views of children since its inception. Young minds absorb the images from the glowing box and emulate their favorite TV characters in dress, dialogue and actions. If the TV hero du jour fought for "truth, justice and the American way," while flying through the air with his cape flowing behind him, thousands of young boys tied towels around their necks, jumped off chairs and stood boldly with their hands on their hips. This was done, of course, with the hero's hapless villains bouncing rubber darts at his chest. If the hero du jour worked as a bus driver and threatened his wife with a one-way trip to the moon, thousands of young men grew to be husbands who also demanded their wives be subservient or they too would get a free trip to the moon. If the hero du jour worked in a nuclear power plant, drank beer and was self-absorbed with the moment -- ignoring his wife, children and neighbors -- then thousands of young boys felt empowered to talk back and live only for themselves.

Sometimes you will hear television writers maintaining the programs they create do not negatively impact societal values or conservative mores. Rather, they insist their programs are more like a mirror showing us who we are within our culture. The old question of "does art imitate life or does life imitate art?" seems to be answered in the first postulate. If that is true, I wonder what our society is really like in how men (husbands) treat women (wives).

It appears to me that for a long time the prevalent standard was that women were nothing more than second-class citizens designed for housework, mothering and waiting on their male counterparts. Women were viewed as weak, both in mind and in body. The show in which Jackie Gleason starred -- The Honeymooners -- regularly portrayed this attitude about women's supposed inferiority and servile status -- though Gleason's character, Ralph Kramden, did get his comeuppance on more than one occasion.

Then along came the 70s and the societal shift to the empowerment of women. Women were roaring as Helen Reddy sang to a nation. They were able to handle job, family and every other demand on their time and abilities. More recently, it's cartoons like The Simpsons and that family's patriarchal dolt who shows himself preeminent in being both incompetent and boorish. Such caricatures of men render them as self-absorbed dullards, needing women to care for them.

In today's culture a true "man's man" -- i.e. one who is confident, controlling, detached and self-preoccupied -- is the core stuff of movies and television programs everywhere. He is "the man" -- large and in charge. He's the brooding loner women whisper about, "the leader of the pack" who rallies lesser men, the alpha male who kicks butt and could care less about taking names, the super stud who drives women crazy and the attitude-adjusting biker who knows no bounds when delivering punishment.

Guys, I think we're more than a Jackie Gleason, Homer Simpson or James Bond. I think we are at our best when we honor our commitments, cherish our wife and are involved in the life of our children. I believe it is not the roar that gives us respect, but our role. It is our true, God-given vocation to be strong for our family -- not only with our muscles, but in our character.

Look around. There are dozens of examples we can follow, but only One is worthy of our attention.

Lessons Learned Farming

2011-05-31T16:06:00.001-05:00

This is the time of year when farmers all across North America are in their fields, preparing the soil and planting seeds that will grow into the food products that will feed their families, their communities, their nation and the world. With more than 309, 600,000 acres of harvested farmland in the United States and another 167,000,000 acres in Canada, the task of preparation and planting is huge indeed. Yesteryear's single-bottom, walk-behind plow pulled by a mule has been replaced today by huge contraptions like the John Deere 3710 10-Bottom Plow pulled by a monster tractor complete with GPS, air conditioning and satellite radio. Still, regardless of the machinery farmers use to work the ground, farm families typically shares traits of honesty, hard work and respect.

Sitting on the seat of an open-air Allis Chalmers D-19 plowing rich bottom land at sunrise is one of the best memories I have. The rich, organic smell of the soil being turned over as it mingles with the diesel exhaust forms a memory that brings a sense of peace and contentment. Knowing the land would soon yield an abundant crop instills a sense of purpose to do the best possible job. The solitude of the field and the simple mechanics of the task naturally lead to some musings about the lessons one could glean from farming.

Make hay when the sun shines. This oft-repeated axiom reminds us we must do the task at hand when the time is right -- not before and not after. Trying to cut and bail hay in the rain is not only difficult, but destructive in the long run; warm weather with dry clover makes for bails that will feed animals throughout the winter. This phrase also reminds us we must prioritize our tasks. Cut hay that's waiting to be bailed takes priority over most anything else.

It's hard to straighten a furrow after a crooked start. No matter how much effort, the first furrow needs to be accurate. It must be straight and true since each furrow thereafter will take its shape from the first one. We must always start our tasks on the straight and true for everything else is built on that first pass. It is true for plowing, and it is true for most tasks: we must build on a firm and true foundation. This works with relationships and raising children, too; we must start right.

Don't count the chickens until the eggs are hatched. Once a friend of mine shared he had a 120-bushel-an-acre corn growing, just waiting to be harvested. The only problem was his crop was sitting in five feet of water. His harvest was lost to a late summer flood that prevented him from getting the crop out. Another friend shared with me he lost his entire soybean crop to a severe spring, complete with storms, hail and wind that stripped the leaves off his plants. He had to write off the crop and try something different. Storms, water, wind and lack of rain can all turn a potential bumper crop into a total disaster. Knowing the harvest only counts when it's in the barn keeps one focused on the important things. Each of us can learn to not count on the "what ifs" and "if onlys" we encounter, but instead work for the harvest that lasts.

A little hard work never hurt anyone. A day filled with hot sun and hay bales will stretch muscles that one never knew one had, and makes for a deep night's sleep. Hard work is something not to be avoided, but to be embraced as a way to accomplish great deeds.

Thanks to all who work the land. We pray you have seasonable weather and good crops.

In Memory

2011-05-24T16:02:00.001-05:00

The lone bugler stands away from the grave site, often beyond the family's view. The flag is respectfully removed from the top of the casket and folded in a tradition filled with symbolism. The command is given and the rifle volley echoes across the land. The bugler snaps to attention, brings the bugle to his lips and begins the slow, mournful tune of "Taps." The honor guard bends and presents the folded flag to the family and offers the thanks of a grateful nation for this: the supreme sacrifice. The last notes of "Taps" are lost in the wind as the family slowly leaves the graveside -- filled with emotion.

For those who have stood next to the flag-draped casket of a loved one killed in service, the sound of "Taps" serves as a poignant reminder of their fallen family member -- an individual who offered his or her all so others may live free. For those who have stood next to the graveside of family members who have died after returning home from service and now are being laid to rest with full military honors, the sound of "Taps" is just as haunting and memorable.

The powerfully expressive notes of "Taps" remind the family of the sacrifice and honor their son or daughter exhibited in behalf of a nation and its citizens. And in that tune's somber cadence is embodied the soldier's sacrifice, which is measured in so many ways: the sacrifice of time spent separated from loved ones, the horrors of unspeakable atrocities witnessed and forever etched on the mind, the injuries to the body and spirit -- some visible, most invisible.

This Memorial Day I will gaze on the framed tri-folded flag from my father's casket and voice a silent "thank you." I will thank him for many things. Chief among those will be his service to help ensure freedom for me and this country. In that service, he -- and the countless multitudes that have joined him in military service -- gave their families and all generations to follow a reason to say thanks and an example of valor to live by.

Our country was forged by the heat of battle and paid for by the blood of its combatants. On this important fact we cannot let down our guard, for there will always be those who would claim for themselves what is not theirs. To this day, our nation sends warriors to stand in the path of those who would strip us of our freedoms, our liberties and our way of life. I will always say "thank you" to those who have served and those who will follow. I pray that God would keep each one safe, so they may return to their families, their loved ones, and reap the benefits they have so valiantly fought for.

In memory of those who have served and died I will always rise to attention and place my hand over my heart as the flag of our nation is carried past me. In honor of those who still serve I will rise and sing, "The National Anthem," always thankful that we have this nation. In memory of those who have served and are now departed I will honor them with my words and deeds.

Memorial Day ~ a time to remember, a time to be thankful, and a time to count the cost of the days ahead.

Lessons Learned in a Wood Shop

2011-05-17T15:44:00.001-05:00

I never tire of the smell of fresh sawdust. I walk into the workshop and can smell the pine -- not from a bottle -- but from the tree, and I breathe deep. Other smells come forward: stains and varnishes, the pungent odor of burnt wood and the sweet fragrance of cedar. The odors bring back images of past projects. Among them are shelves, cradles, even a table. The smells are a powerful reminder of many hours spent planning, sawing, sanding and fashioning a piece of timber that becomes something both functional and practical.

I always smile when a project is finished. The project started out as an idea in my head and took root. Soon the idea grew into plans that took the form of crude drawings that outlined the basic design, shape and look. Then the plans were revised over and over again until the project appeared -- bold and possible on the paper. Soon a list detailed all that would be needed to complete the project: more wood, some fasteners, glue, stain, etc. Then the real fun starts: putting it together.

It is the construction phase of a project that appeals most to me. I am always amazed at what the tools can do. Whether I am using a handsaw or a power lathe, each tool shapes and molds -- but only as directed. I am in control, if just for a moment.

With each segment completed, the project slowly rises up as one piece is fitted to the next. I always pause when the raw project emerges. It doesn't matter if it is a simple shelf or a complex piece. It is always something to behold when the plan actually comes together. After that, the finish is applied and the project is ready to be shared.

Each completed project reminds me of the following:

"Measure twice -- cut once." I need to check my measurements to avoid costly mistakes. I sometimes heed this advice when tempted to speak out. I measure my words twice before I speak them.

"For want of a nail, the battle was lost." This old rhyme about a battle being lost due to the lack of a rider, due to the lack of a horse, due to the lack of a shoe, due to the lack of a nail reminds me that each piece -- no matter how insignificant it may appear -- is important. The joint may hold together without glue, but it will not last. The small action I take today may seem insignificant, but it may have serious implications in the future.

"Haste makes waste." When I get in a hurry and rush steps, the finished project suffers. If the paint is not dry before I touch it, my fingerprints will remind me to give it time. If I put pressure on a joint before the glue is set, the joint fails. I need to slow down and complete each part fully before moving on. It is true in wood. It is certainly true in life.

"Use the right tool for the right job." Each tool is designed to perform a specific function, and it is best to use the right tool. If I try to use my legs as a vise, chisel with a screwdriver, hammer with a pair of pliers, or turn a screw with a coin the results are usually poor. I must also be sure to use the right tools in my life. I can't use discipline when understanding is called for, anger when action is needed, or apathy when empathy is required.

"What you don't see is as important as what you do see." A coat of paint may hide a bad piece of stock, wood filler may obscure a weak joint and a lap joint will not be noticed where a dovetail joint is called for, but what is hidden often determines the real quality of a finished project. I need to make sure there are no weak links in my construction.

On that note, I gotta go. There's wood to plane and nails to pound before I sleep.

Who Is Watching You?

2011-05-10T16:42:00.001-05:00

Ever since the late 60s, the concept of our government invading an individual's privacy has been a popular subject for novels, TV shows, films and a small army of talk show hosts. People traveling on airplanes know just how much the government watches you, especially as you stand still with your hands over your head posing for an X-ray scan. Even if you aren't singled out for a scan, the agent with the wand can get very friendly in an effort to get to know all about you. Now, don't misunderstand me, I fully agree passengers boarding airplanes should not carry weapons or have more than three ounces of fluids. And in this I applaud the government's efforts to thwart would-be terrorists.

Driving recently through a construction zone, it was brought to my attention again how the government is watching me, or at least how fast I am driving. The sign proclaimed something along the lines of "Speed Photo-Enforced." I had a mental image of a giant photo, flashing red and blue lights, pulling me to the side of the road.

Wherever there are opportunities for substantial money losses, cameras are used to keep track of people and record any wrongdoing. That's why you see them in banks, department stores, casinos and (perhaps the joint with the largest potential cash loss) gas stations. Yes, our movements are watched and recorded, along with our e-mails, website visits, and phone calls -- often for training purposes.

Okay, we are being watched -- a lot -- by all sorts of agencies and identities. But that is not the most critical. An honest man has nothing to fear by being watched. I smile at bank cameras and chat with TSA agents. I even slow down for construction speed limits.

I do get a little nervous when my children watch me however.

My spouse and my children see me at my best ... and at my worst. They overhear the anger and they notice the disconnect between actions and words. I may tell them it's important to go to church, but if I play golf instead of attending, they get a strong message that golf is more important than church. If I bellow at them to stop fighting and encourage them to act civil, but then start yelling at the news about how I disagree with what is being reported, I send a strong message that my commands are not to be obeyed -- since I can so easily break them. If I promise to be at their game and stay late at work instead, then my children understand they are second place in my life and will treat me as a second-place father.

Guys, you are being watched by little eyes and heard by little ears. And for better or worse those little eyes and ears will remember.

Who is watching you?

"Until Death Do Us Part"

2011-05-03T16:59:00.001-05:00

Like most of the world, I witnessed a couple getting married this past weekend. However, unlike most of the world, I had a seat in the sanctuary and heard the entire ceremony firsthand. The attendants processed slowly down the aisle, and the littlest ones almost stole the spotlight. The bride was radiant as she approached the altar to take her position next to her nervous groom. The ceremony began, the preacher spoke and vows were exchanged. The groom had a bit of a problem with the bride's ring, but all ended well with the couple's first kiss applauded by an enthusiastic audience.

Yes, I attended the wedding of a close friend this past weekend ... in the United States. Did you think I was in London?

As I heard the couple exchange their vows, I re-lived the day that I, too, spoke those words of commitment, words pledging my faithfulness and oneness for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and cherish, from this day forward -- until death do us part.

Until death us do part. That is the vow. At those words I looked at my wife and thought about some of the situations in our marriage. These range from semantical discussions about being "on time" to being "late." They extend to thermostat settings and length of showers. They consider everything from dirty socks and the subdivision of closet space to ordering food and selecting movies. That's right, trials we have had. But I also look at her and remember the times she loved me and cared for me when I was more than unlovable. When I was sick, she loved me. When I was ill, she brought me soup and aspirin -- and a smile; she even let me know I was her first concern.

I gazed at my bride and heard the words, "Until death us do part." There is no wiggle room in that line, is there? It's for life. The vow wasn't "Until I find someone better" or "Until my needs are unmet" or "Until I fall out of love." No, the words take it to the very end: "Until death us do part."

Guys, take it seriously! Love your spouse; treat her as you would treat yourself -- only a whole lot better. Take care of your part. Pray for her. Pray with her. Show her you love her. Speak kindly to her in front of the kids; talk to her honestly and affectionately. Help with the chores. Appreciate her beauty; spoil her and cherish her until death parts you.

You may not have married an English princess, but you did marry the most beautiful, gifted, talented and wonderful woman in the whole, wide world.

Sometimes it helps to be reminded of that, doesn't it?

Be Prepared

2011-04-26T17:00:00.001-05:00

This past weekend will long be remembered in the Saint Louis area -- particularly by those living near the airport when the tornado hit. The terminal's architecture didn't stand a chance against the storm's fierce blasts. Twisted metal, broken glass and open sky where a roof should be -- all attested to the power of 100-mile-per-hour winds as they slammed into the structure. But the airport wasn't the only property damaged. Hundreds of homes and businesses suffered structural damage and, in some cases, complete destruction. Worship was suspended at Good Friday services in many area churches as parishioners headed for structurally safer areas. One congregation emerged from its shelter only to find the roof of its building had vanished. But St. Louis was only one affected area in the country. Violent weather, pounding rains, lightning, hail and strong winds buffeted states from Texas northward. In the process it spawned tornadoes and property destruction across several Midwestern locations.

Unfortunately last week's storms may be merely a nasty preview of damage that spring floods may bring as snow melt and fresh rains swell streams and rivers beyond their banks and levies. As bad as the destruction from this past weekend's storms was, the costs pale in comparison to losses incurred from the Japanese tsunami and the Haitian earthquake.

We have experienced a very interesting weather pattern this past winter and spring with record levels of snow, rain and storms wreaking havoc on people and property across the country. So, it may not be a question of "if" but rather a question of "when" will a disaster impact you and your loved ones? Sometimes we have a few minutes' warning before bad weather hits. Sometimes we don't know about it at all. Either way, we -- and our property -- are vulnerable.

Are you prepared?

We hope so. There is great value in regularly reviewing your disaster plans with your family. This instruction includes everything from having easily accessible contact info for family members and emergency personnel to knowing where to meet in the event of a disaster. It includes having a pre-made "go bag" on hand filled with essential supplies, and it means family members can find critical information immediately when it is needed.

You can find information for disaster preparation from many sources including www.ready.gov, www.redcross.org, and others.

Men, your emergency preparations for your family can mean life or death in a disaster. It is also important your family can operate in a self-sufficient manner should you not be there to provide the leadership they need.

As one of those parishioners who had to find shelter during the church service last Friday, it was a relief to know preparations were in place to provide for our safety.

Men, how prepared is your family for an emergency?

Lessons Learned Turkey Hunting

2011-04-19T16:22:00.000-05:00

In certain states, now is the time when hunters head to their favorite spot to bag a big tom -- turkey, that is -- longbeard. Hunters are lovingly cleaning their shotguns, checking their camo and tweaking their calls to gobbler-enticing perfection. After all, there is nothing so tasty as a big tom bagged in the woods. Turkey hunting is also a time to learn some good life lessons.

Patience is key. The turkey hunter may sit still for hours, calling out, only to have his efforts fail. Does the hunter give up? No, the hunter will regroup and try again. Over and over the hunter will call out the seductive calls the tom loves to hear, until such time as the light fades, the season ends or the turkey is in the bag. Patience is the virtue that separates the successful hunter from the unsuccessful one.

Patience is a virtue all men can use -- not just hunters. The man who practices patience will ultimately prevail over the man who charges ahead, trying to outrun everyone else. Sometimes a man has to figuratively sit with his back to a tree, calling out to those around him, luring them in. A man that can sit still and wait for the right opportunity will have more success than the man who can't sit still.

Act decisively. The hunter who lines up his shot, only to hesitate, will find his shot missing the mark more often than not. Once the hunter has the tom in his sights, he must act. He must act deliberately, but act he must. If he waits, if he hesitates on the trigger, he will have nothing but a loud ringing in his ears instead of a nice dinner.

Decisive action is another virtue men should use. Deliberate, decisive action can lead men through the path and pitfalls of life, while indecision and hesitation will often sidetrack and derail a man. Think about that infamous question wives ask: "What do you want for dinner?" The man who answers deliberately and decisively with "steak" will more often than not see a big, juicy steak on his dinner plate. The man who hems and haws around with an "I don't know. Whatever" will likely get just that: some steamed zucchini, a nice bowl of roughage and, if he's lucky, a char-grilled veggie burger -- but no steak.

Use the right call. A "cluck" works to get a tom's attention, a "purr" means contentment and a "putt" sounds an alarm. If a hunter putts when he should purr, the tom flees. Hunters need to use the right call to bring the tom within striking range.

Guys, we need to use the right "call" words for optimum results. If we yell when we should soothe, we hurt those around us instead of helping them. Guys, choose your words carefully and then work on how you deliver them. Saying "I'm sorry" in an angry or sarcastic tone of voice doesn't quite convey a sense of apology.

The best part of turkey hunting just may be the time spent in the woods, however. Sometimes we need to get away by ourselves and recharge. Hunting may not be it for you, but something is. Perhaps it's golf, reading a book, watching a movie, cutting the grass, walking the dog, changing the oil or something else that gets you outside your routine and helps you take time to recharge and be a better husband, father, coach and friend.

I can't wait to get away. Gobble, gobble!

Trust Me

2011-04-12T16:37:00.001-05:00

It seems many people in today's world want our trust. Politicians, salespeople, phone solicitors, TV news reporters, teenagers and a host of others pitch themselves as worthy of our confidence. "Trust me," they say, in an attempt to win us over. Once that switch is flipped and our allegiance is given, the other party has made an inroad into getting what it wants: politicians get our votes, salespeople get our money, phone solicitors get our order, TV news reporters get our attention, teenagers get our car keys -- and so on.

The old saw goes like this: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." That seems to sum up our feelings about trusting others. For example, I went to a carnival once and was drawn into playing a "game of chance." Now it seemed as if the game was honest. It seemed as if there were actual winners. It seemed as if it was a minimal risk, so I indulged. It only took the game operator five minutes to relieve me of my discretionary funds. It took my wife less than three more to escort me away from the game before I dug deeper, still somehow sure the contest was basically honest.

These days I enjoy walking through casinos. I admire the architecture as I people watch and eat free hot dogs (at least in the better casinos). What I rarely do, however, is gamble. I simply don't run with feelings of greed and easy money anymore. I've learned to see beyond the mirage that promises a big payout for a tiny investment. I should thank the carnival guy for this, I suppose, but I'm still mad at him. Okay. I must confess: he did teach me a valuable lesson -- made even clearer by an astute wife.

A good friend often quotes this line: "Nothing puts a bad business out of business faster than good advertising." His point is good advertising can and does generate customers, but if the customers are lied to, cheated or have their expectations unmet -- they will stop coming. Furthermore, they tell everyone they know not to shop at that business. Needless to say, the business suffers greatly -- sometimes with irreparable damage being done.

It's easy to see how trust is broken in the political world. Most campaign promises are deemed null and void once the politician is warming a chair in his or her new office. I can be cynical here as I remember the days when a man's word was his bond. In other words, if a man promised something he would deliver. Even politicians back in the day would deliver on campaign promises.

These days, both the business and political worlds are often viewed with deep skepticism. And why shouldn't they be? They've earned our mistrust. But what about your own house? What would it take for your family to mistrust you? How many broken promises would it take before your children begin to question your word? (Just guessing here, but I would think you get like one shot at it.) How many burned dinners would it take for your wife not to trust when you will come home from work? (Again -- just guessing here -- but maybe two?) How many missed appointments, missed trips, missed outings and missed allowance raises before your word carries little to no weight at all?

Trust is a funny thing. It seems solid when you feel people believe what you say. But it's so easy to forget how painful it is when they don't -- and when their reason for not believing what you have to say is because you can't be trusted.

Trust needs to be constantly earned. Once trust is lost it seems it then takes an almost ridiculous amount of time and action before it is restored. Sometimes it never is.

Who do you trust? That's probably a pretty easy question to answer.

Now flip it over. Who trusts you? That's a more important question -- trust me.

I am Sorry

2011-04-05T16:55:00.001-05:00

It has been postulated that the three most important words in any relationship are "I Love You." Important as those are, however, I would venture to guess those three words are probably number two. To me, "I am sorry," should be the number one phrase for any relationship. It may be hard to say, "I love you," but, in my opinion, "I am sorry," is by far harder. When somebody says he or she is sorry, that person is acknowledging a mistake has been made. Whoa! Now how many of us can admit to that?

For example, how many of us would be happier blaming our wives for getting us lost then admit we didn't know where we were going? C'mon, you know what I am talking about. You give her the map, pretty much convinced you already know where you're going, and then you come to a fork in the road. Naturally, you ask her, "Which way?" She stammers and ventures an educated guess. Unfortunately, it's wrong, and you go straight for the jugular, blurting out something like "If you'd learn to read a map, then we wouldn't be lost!" Boy, it felt good to get that off your chest, huh? The problem is whose responsibility was it to know where you're going? Whose responsibility was it to teach her the route? Who is really to blame? So, rather than go off on her, what about taking the responsibility and confessing, "I am sorry. I got us lost"?

That, as we all know, is a bitter pill to swallow.

Not too long ago I left something very important in a hotel room. The item was mine. The item was important to me. I left it. But the temptation when I found it was missing was to blame my wife. For after all, she was supposed to check the room to see if I left anything! No, I had to say, "I am sorry." I was the one who left it. It was my responsibility.

I make mistakes. I am not above taking responsibility for my actions. I mess up and I must confess and ask for forgiveness. It's not easy, but I learned from a master: my Dad.

My Dad's temper was legendary. He could yell, curse and argue with the best of them. One time I witnessed him rattle a store manager into giving him a cut of meat at a reduced price -- even though the ad was wrong, and the manager explained how it wasn't the store's fault. By the time Dad was through "explaining" his viewpoint, he -- and all the other shoppers that had gathered to witness this brutal exchange -- received the same discount. Such was his wrath.

I was on the receiving end of his anger many times growing up. But one thing I always remember is this: most of the time I deserved his discipline, and all of the time he would apologize to me for losing his temper. On one memorable occasion he berated me and banished me to my room with the words, "You are worthless."

That hurt.

Later that evening Dad came into my room, sat on my bed and confessed he was out of line. He explained how he said things in anger -- things I shouldn't believe. I was not worthless; I was worthy. The tears in his voice betrayed his emotion. From that day on I knew that no matter what the words were, he knew I was worthy.

When he said, "I am sorry," he made me who I am today -- a worthy child.

Not too shabby an outcome for three little words.

Opening Day is a Shout Away!

2011-03-30T08:15:00.000-05:00

The grass is green, the mound is raked, the seats are all scrubbed and the hot dogs are ready to go ... baseball's opening day is here! The season looms large before us, filled with the hope and promise of warm, sunny days and star-filled nights. Baseball is more than watching our favorite team in an athletic contest. It's a tradition, a memory, an event and ... an opportunity.

A baseball game is a great time for fathers to teach sons -- and daughters -- about the wonders of the game and the beauty of its storied traditions. In the stands, fathers share the mechanics of balls, strikes and pitching styles, tapping into their own first-hand experience dealing with curve balls and sliders. They delineate the finer points of taking an inside pitch against uncorking a missile to the rafters. Teachable moments get mixed in with sharing a bag of peanuts, repositioning a jalapeño slice on a cheese-covered nacho and sipping a frosty beverage. In fact, when it comes right down to it, the game is merely the backdrop to the best thing taking place in those two seats: the making of bright memories between dads and kids.

When not filling out the scorecard with "Ks" dads can share words of wisdom with their kids, using the game playing out before them as a perfect object lesson. The player who "crosses" himself before batting, the manager who goes ballistic over a bad call and the little kid who's scrambling on the field as a bat boy -- each give the dad something to talk about with his own kids. Baseball games last long enough that dads can get past the sheer excitement of the game and can steal some powerful bonding time with their kids. These exchanges are not soon forgotten either. The game itself reinforces these lessons on the memory, creating an impression that's remembered fondly in an atmosphere of fun and enjoyment.

And this camaraderie isn't just for dads and their kids either. Guys sitting together in the upper deck have the chance to share more than a drink and an opinion about the manager. They can talk about what's on their minds: their hurts, their dreams, their lives and their families. Fortunate is the man who can share a game with good friends.

Even more fortunate is the husband who can take his wife to the game -- and she enjoys it! That man needs to buy season tickets!

It doesn't matter if it's a major league team, a minor league team, a little league team or just a backyard pick-up game -- watching baseball is an excellent way to make the "All-American Pastime" a truly memorable event!

Play ball!

Coach

2011-03-22T13:48:00.001-05:00

March Madness - how sweet it is! The annual pairings, bracket challenges and upsets offer endless opportunities for guys to eat, cheer and eat some more as they follow the tournament through all the TV channels. As always, NCAA Division I basketball provides an optimum sports experience, with underdogs and favorites going head to head, each with a chance to advance. The alternative of losing and going home is a motivator that many teams take very seriously. This year has already provided its share of upsets and setbacks to bracket challenges.
It is interesting to listen to the commentators during halftime as they describe and recap the first half and then offer advice on how the coach needs to motivate or position players to win in the second half. One aspect all commentators focus on, regardless of the team or even the sport, is the role of the coach. The coach commands the team, directs the team, inspires the team, motivates the team and recognizes each team member's area of strength in order to devise a plan of attack (or defense) that maximizes every player's best assets. The coach is so vital that universities pay millions of dollars to entice a winning coach to stay or to encourage a winning coach to sign up with them.

So how are you coaching your team?

Every one of us has a team we coach. It might be the local little league baseball team, a peewee football team or even a soccer team. Then again, most likely the team we coach is none other than our family.

Our family needs us to coach them well. We need to recognize and utilize the strengths of each one of our team members, while we minimize their weaknesses. We need to inspire our team to go beyond their limits and reach for something bigger and better than themselves. We need to help them develop the skills they need for success and see to it they practice regularly. We should provide a model for greatness and instill a can-do attitude that rises to the occasion to go above and beyond what is needed to accomplish amazing things.

We coach with our words and our deeds and our positive attitude. We are an influencer and that is as serious a task as we can get.

So how is your team doing?

And Then There Was Fishing

2011-03-15T17:07:00.001-05:00

The grip of winter is breaking (in some places) and spring winds are starting to blow. Baseball is almost here and college basketball tournaments are going on left and right. Of course, all this is but a minor prelude to what's really coming on the horizon: fishing! That's right. It's getting real close to the time for rods and reels to be cleaned and readied, for boat engines to be fine tuned and for vacation plans to be charted out. Spring and summer are soon to be here -- and with the warm weather comes dreams of landing a lunker!

My dad was a fisherman He would not pass up a chance to get out in a boat, cast a line along the bank or crank some spinner bait in his search for the next "big one." He would fish fresh water lakes, farm ponds, oceans -- and I even saw him dip a line in a fish tank once. He had several rods and reels and a tackle box filled with mysterious things -- things that had this odd way of hooking themselves onto my fingers and palms when I reached in to grab one.

Dad did his best to pass along his love of fishing. He would take his sons to the lake and give us a cane pole baited with a worm and a bobber. His instructions were simple: watch the bobber until it jerked under the water, then give the pole a mighty yank until the fish came flopping up on the bank. Hours spent watching that red and white bobber felt like only minutes the moment that sphere bounced, then disappeared under water. The rush of adrenaline and Dad's wide grin made the hours of waiting well worth it. It was a heady experience, and one not easily forgotten.

Not forgotten either were the times when Dad would share wisdom and knowledge with his sons. His deep, quiet voice soothed as he passed along gems of fishing acumen like the best bait to use, the best depth to place the bobber and the best moment to set the hook. As we got older he also shared valuable insights on dating, work, the military and the government. His voice was barely audible as the sun set and the bats chased mosquitoes, but still we listened intently. We were hearing his heartfelt words, and we knew they were words that even then would shape our futures.

I cherish those days and still remember the tone and inflection of his voice. The power of a dad and his son sharing on the banks of a river or lake should not be underestimated. As we get ready for this year's Men's NetWork fishing contest, perhaps it will give you the chance to pass along some wisdom, insights and timely advice to your son.

While the world seems to have an endless supply of crazy going on, fishing with your son is an excellent way to step out of the frenzy and come together for a while.

And when you do, be sure to remember this: you're not only creating memories, you're forming a man.

If I'd Known ...

2011-03-08T16:26:00.001-06:00

James Hubert "Eubie" Blake (February 7, 1887 - February 12, 1983) was a composer and pianist of ragtime, jazz, and popular music, as well as a lyricist. As you may recall, he uttered this memorable quote: "If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."He died in 1983 in Brooklyn just five days after celebrating his "hundredth" birthday (he was actually 96).

Yep, there are many of us walking around with the "If-I'd-known" blues. Back in the day we'd "walk a mile for a Camel," and thought nothing of smoking, anywhere, anytime. It was socially acceptable to offer one's guests an ashtray and a few non-filtered cigarettes when they visited your home. A two-martini lunch was a common business expense and rare red meat was standard dining fare. Seat belts were non-existent and the 55-mile-an-hour speed limit was yet to be invented. No respectable motorcycle rider would wear a helmet, let alone a bicycle rider. Salty foods tasted best and the best pie dough was made from lard.

Today we live in a healthier, safer world, yet we still seem to find ways to join the If-I'd-known club. For example, fast and convenient, fried food seemed to be an answer to how to provide inexpensive meals to a growing population. Today we see the effects of a long-term diet of burgers and fries. The cell phone offered an inexpensive way for people to have a one-stop communication device that extended the workday, was great for getting help in an emergency and allowed teens to stay in touch with their parents. Today, we reap the results of death and injuries caused by distracted drivers and all the other issues now familiar to a world linked by the ubiquitous cell phone.

Men, we do know. We have a vast storehouse of wisdom and knowledge we can share. Let us not be shy about imparting what we know. Oh, I know most of our advice will fall on deaf ears, our younger brothers not heeding what their older brothers say, but that should not dissuade us from persistently and patiently sharing the knowledge gained over a lifetime of mistakes.

If just one young man heeds our words and wears a helmet, hangs up the phone to drive, doesn't start tobacco or refuses to succumb to the lure of fast, fat food, we succeed.

Now, if only someone would have told me about standing next to the speakers at a rock concert.

Can I hear an "amen"?

Begin With The End

2011-03-01T20:04:00.001-06:00

It would not be uncommon for me to ask my wife out for a date. It also would not be uncommon for her to say, "yes." Then she would ask this question: "Where are we going?" I would describe to her some great restaurant, a picturesque park or, perhaps, a happening event. She then would hop in the car with me and off we'd go.

Now, I am a guy. I would have a vague idea of where I was headed, but would sometimes be off a street or two. It was at these times my wife would turn, smile and question, "Are we lost yet?"

Of course, the answer was an emphatic, "NO!"

So it was not a surprise I received a GPS as a Christmas gift. Now I have a woman who asks, "Are we lost yet?" and another who gently recalculates my way to the final destination. Our trips go much faster if I enter the ending point into the GPS before I start.

Stephen R. Covey writes in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that highly effective people begin with an end in mind. What he means is that we shape our own future if we establish a vision for how we want to end.

I like that. To envision the end before we begin works in many situations we guys come across: from building a birdhouse to remodeling a bathroom. If we know how it is to look in the end, we move through our project faster -- and more efficiently -- than if we did not know when to end.

I would say that could also apply to our relationship with our spouse and family.

When I was dating my wife we spent many hours in conversation about what we wanted our marriage to look like. We wanted to have Christ in the center of our relationship; we wanted our children to know we loved one another; we wanted to work for the greater good; we wanted to make a difference in at least one person's life, and we wanted to be active in our local church. So we began our relationship with a vision of how we wanted to develop it. In essence we began with planning the end: the goal. The vision of how we wanted our marriage to develop now shapes our activities and our action.

Guys, if you have no end in sight before you begin then any destination will suffice. And often any destination is not much of a destination at all.

So, you see, it does make sense to start with the end in mind.

Where do you want to end?

Be Proactive

2011-02-22T17:07:00.001-06:00

Okay, I admit it. I like words. The word "proactive" has always fascinated me. I ran across the word when I was sent an e-mail that shared some insights form the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People written by Stephen R. Covey. He makes the observation that effective people are proactive people.

I like proactive. It combines "pro," which often means "in favor of" and "active," which means, well, "action." So to be proactive means I'm a guy in favor of taking action. Yep, that's me. I'm in favor of taking action and I believe all guys are in favor of action, especially in their movie choices.

Covey suggests effective people do more than just take action; they take initiative. Now that may be splitting hairs, but a man who takes the initiative is a man who knows he is responsible for his actions and gets involved without being prompted. He acts out of principle and value rather than out of habits or circumstances.

Men, do you take the initiative? How early is it to start teaching your children, to be involved in their lives, to set boundaries and limits, to know their friends, to read the Bible with them, to pray for them, to listen to their prayers, to forgive, to model, to give them dreams, to give them skills, to be the man in their life? My Dad was involved from early on. He was there with me from diapers to tux, from milk to whisky and from trikes to cars -- and all the stages in-between.

My Dad modeled for me the effectiveness of being proactive. Because of his example I, too, was involved early on in the lives of my children. Because of him, it was natural for me. He helped me be a better dad.

But, guys, it isn't just about being active in the lives of kids. It's being a man of integrity who takes action and initiative based on the solid principles and values from the Bible. Men, you can step up and be a man of action -- no matter what your past has been. This can be anything from changing a widow's spark plugs to ladling soup in the kitchen, from painting the house to sharing your skills at sports or music, from speaking out against injustice to being a prayer warrior.

Being proactive gets things done.

I like being proactive.

Be There

2011-02-15T17:24:00.001-06:00

At the end of the 1963 movie, Cleopatra, Marc Antony (Richard Burton) falls on his sword and is taken to die in Cleopatra's (Elizabeth Taylor) arms. Soon after he dies, Octavian (Roddy McDowall) confronts Cleopatra and demands she return to Rome with him. Cleopatra replies, but never looks up from the floor. Octavian is furious and demands of her that she "look me in the eye!" Over and over he yells, "Look me in the eye!" Each time she glances at him and then turns away.

As I watched this old film I was reminded of the times in my life I was told to look someone in the eye. The earliest memory I have is my Dad setting my down in a chair across from him to discuss the transgression I had committed. I didn't see it as such a big deal. After all, he used those words in anger, why couldn't I? But I sat there, head hanging down, feeling ashamed and hurt for my error.

Dad calmly spoke and wanted me to look him in the eye. As I did I could see he wasn't going to do me great bodily harm. Instead, he was going to share words of forgiveness.

I thought about that day for a long time. Why did Dad want me to look him in the eye? Finally, it dawned on me -- he wanted my full and undivided attention. He wanted me to concentrate and remember his words. He did not want me distracted and inattentive. To this day I am honored when people give me their full and undivided attention, which is usually signaled by looking me in the eye.

Yes, I have been at meetings and have watched people feign attention as they gazed out the window, answered e-mails or texted their friends. I have talked to the back of kids' heads as they watched TV. I have yelled into the other room in an effort to exert my knowledge -- all done to no avail. The window gazers, e-mail texters and TV watchers are not paying attention to me. Sometimes I feel like Octavian and want to scream, "Look me in the eye!"

I want people to be there in the communication process. By "be there" I mean I want to know they are focusing on me and my words, just as I focus on them and theirs. We lament the lack of communication in our modern world, but if we would just be there in our discussions, we would find our communication much improved.

Men, consider what I'm saying. Always be there for those you communicate with. Pay attention. Resist the urge to let your mind wander as you think of your reply. Listen to what they're telling you. The message you may be disregarding for some daydream or another tick off of your mental to-do list, might be something very close to the person's heart you're talking to.

After all, we can all use somebody to talk to every now and then.

Make My Day - Make Their Day

2011-02-08T17:30:00.001-06:00

Movie Trivia quiz: What character, played by what actor, in what movie used the phrase, "Go ahead, make my day"?

If you said, "Dirty Harry," played by Clint Eastwood in the movie Sudden Impact you would likely be in the majority. Unfortunately, you would be wrong. It was a Hollywood vice cop played by Gary Swanson, who first spoke the line in the movie Vice Squad. It was Clint Eastwood playing Dirty Harry, however, in the film Sudden Impact that made the line a household phrase. It became so famous that President Ronald Reagan declared, "I have my veto pen drawn and ready for any tax increase that Congress might even think of sending up. And I have only one thing to say to the tax increases. Go ahead: make my day."

Taking the concept of creating a feeling of happiness or satisfaction, many businesses have now incorporated the idea of making one's day into their business plan. They build in strategies to interact with their employees to make their day a little bit better. Businesses have found if employees are happy and satisfied, they are engaged and productive. Employees who have their day made will be eager to come to work and will stay loyal to the company. Companies that strive to focus on their employees find the time and effort expended is reimbursed to them by better attitudes and increased productivity.

Some businesses have expanded the concept of making one's day to include the consumer experience. The Home Depot and Macy's are two stores I am familiar with that strive to make their customers' shopping experiences better. I will often visit The Home Depot just to walk around and take in the sights, sounds and smells of the store. There is something about walking through the lumber aisle that refreshes me. Lately, I've noticed I haven't been able to browse more than a single aisle without a store employee asking me how they can help, what I am looking for or if I am having a good day.

Macy's is a store I walk through in order to get to the food court. Recently, I have been greeted by numerous store employees who smile, ask me how I'm doing and if they can help me find anything. I asked the lady behind the perfume bottle if she could help me find a hamburger, and she pointed to the food court. Now, that made my day.

Guys, Valentine's Day is coming -- fast. I know it's another gift-giving day -- and right after Christmas to boot, but maybe this year we can take a cue from The Home Depot and make the day for our Valentine. Now, we don't need to go overboard, but we do need to put a little thought into the gift. The traditional gifts of candy, flowers and jewelry are nice to be sure, but maybe you need to look for that one-of-a-kind, special gift that only you can give.

That's right. There are some wives (rare as they might be) who really appreciate hockey tickets, gift cards for a hardware store or lumber mill or even front-row seats at the local tractor pull.

Hey, if it makes their day -- why not?

May your Valentine's Day find your unorthodox gift rewarded by a woman who thinks outside the box.

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

2011-02-01T18:54:00.000-06:00

Ever since the founding of America, citizens of this country have been seeking happiness. The Founding Fathers wrote in the Declaration of Independence: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

Yes, it seems we all seek happiness in our lives. On one of my recent treks, I thumbed through an in-flight magazine that had this on its cover: "Happiness. It's less elusive than you think. But you might be surprised where we found it." The entire magazine was filled with articles on the importance of happiness and how to achieve it. It even had a quiz for determining how happy you really are. Now there's an obvious relativity to this topic, of course. The guy sipping cognac in first-class must be happier than, say, me, who's finding a small triumph in having just outmaneuvered the person next to me for a piece of armrest.

Naturally curious, I read most of the articles and took the quiz to discover if I was happy. Answering the questions, I wondered just what constitutes being happy? And is it really possible to be happy all the time?

I came to the conclusion happiness is a moving target and that, really, each day is dependent on past events. If I sleep well and just got paid, I typically wake up happier than if I tossed and turned all night trying to figure out how to pay down the MasterCard with my Visa. Recalling a compliment at work makes moving five miles an hour on the highway easier (my mood's better; I'm happier) than seeing red lights everywhere and recounting a mistake somebody pointed out to me in a report.

And what about love? Doesn't being in love equal some sort of happiness? Aren't the two supposed to go together? One would think a long-term marriage would be the partnership of two basically happy people. I would think so too, but I know even that's not always the case. It seems then that asking ourselves if we're happy or not might not be as superficial and silly as it might sound.

Are you happy? I hope so.

I decided that on the whole I am happy with my life and the many blessings I enjoy. If it comes down to material things, I have enough. In fact, I have more than I even know what to do with. If it comes to love, I have my wife -- a beautiful woman who accepts me as I am -- warts and all. Happpiness: maybe it's not as elusive as we think it is. The longer I consider how much I have been blessed, I encounter a state of being happy that runs deeper than I thought. And with it, comes a thankfulness to God, which sweetens the happiness all the more.

I challenge you today: find something to be happy about. Anything. And then take three minutes out of your busy schedule to thank God for that thing.

You'll be glad (happy) you did.

Your Choice

2011-01-25T16:42:00.001-06:00

If you were in Seattle, Wash., you'd be in for a treat if you took your cup of coffee and walked over to the Pike Place Fish Market. At this market you can buy fish, see a show and walk away with a smile. The energetic staff at the market lives out a business model that guarantees the visitor a good time. You will be treated to songs, stand-up comedy and may even have to duck a fish as employees sling low-flying fare from the front of the counter to the back for weighing, wrapping and a quick toss back for the customer. The mood is lively and everyone is in good spirits. The fun-loving employees have an attitude -- and it's contagious.

One of the four parts of the successful model practiced by these fish market employees is summed up as "Choose Your Attitude." One employee said it this way: "When I come to work I can choose to be upbeat and have a good time or I can choose to be tired and grumpy. I choose to be upbeat and the day goes by faster."

It sounds too easy, doesn't it? Choose your attitude?

Let's put it to the test.

Suppose there is a long line of female college students at the airport's security check point. Each is somehow unaware the jewelry around their necks, wrists and ankles will get them rejected by the metal detector. This, in turn, requires extra passes through the magnetometer for other metal objects fastened in place but out of view. Behind them seasoned business travelers and other frequent flyers stand sock-footed with their shoes on a conveyor belt, their laptops pulled from their cases and their sundry cosmetic and shaving accoutrement spread out for the world to see. Let's see if choosing an attitude is productive.

Choice One: Veteran travelers can mock and quietly (or not so quietly) insult the mental abilities of college-aged travelers, the state of training of the TSA agents and, in general, put everyone within earshot in a bad mood. (Yeah. That's something I want to have: fellow travelers on an airplane angry before the plane even takes off.)

Choice Two: A traveler waiting behind the girls shares the simple wisdom of taking off all the bling and placing it in the tub he just handed her while securing tubs for her friends; he then steps aside to let the loudest of the complainers go ahead.

This choice brings smiles to the TSA agents, gets the line moving and everyone leaves the security area in a much better mood.

A wise choice? It would seem so.

Now, what about the time when your teenage son calls and tells you "the car's been in an accident"? Will a moment of pause and a decision to choose your attitude be beneficial in this instance? Let's see, you can yell at him, make him feel really bad (not that he doesn't already) and take away his driving privileges, or you can let him know you're thankful he's not hurt, give him a big hug when you see him and encourage him when he gets back behind the wheel -- a wiser and more careful driver.

Guys, choose wisely. There's a lot riding on it.

Don't Do Today What You Can Do Tomorrow?

2011-01-18T16:44:00.001-06:00

Just the other day I had a conversation with a friend who shared how he was browsing in a book store and found a book that would help him overcome his habit of procrastination. He told me that he did not buy it, but said to himself, "I'll pick it up tomorrow."

This made me think of that little-known rule of house repairs, "If you can live with it for 30 days, you can live with it forever." I recently was reminded of that when I was inspecting the house before a dinner party, and my wife commented how I needed to change the light bulb above the kitchen table. I was struggling to remember why I had to change the bulb since we just had dinner and I could see my food perfectly fine. Then I glanced at the light fixture, a fan with five bulbs -- four of them burned out. I replaced the four bulbs and noticed I should also wash the windows. I washed the windows and saw I needed to cut the grass. I cut the grass and then needed to trim. You get the picture. I should have turned off the light fixture, lit some mood candles and called it "ambiance."

Yes, I, too, procrastinate. But then again I can always start getting things down tomorrow.

Now, lest you get the wrong idea, if I have a headlight out, I'll get it fixed before I get a ticket, and if the sink backs up, I'll fix it in a reasonable amount of time -- saving me the time it takes to walk to use another sink. But, for me anyway, the more unpleasant the task, the longer I put it off. Sometimes my reasons for delaying the inevitable are creative: perhaps the president will contact me for an important spy mission overseas so that, naturally, my boss will understand if my report is late. I guess that's one holdover from grade school and growing up with snow days -- a pleasant reminder that once in awhile it pays not to study for the test.

As we enter a new year it seems this is as good a time as any to stop procrastination. Part of the benefit of doing now what can be done now is that when an unexpected snow day does come your way, you can use the unexpected gift of time for you personally - - i.e. reading, goofing off or just taking a guilt-free nap.

Doing little things periodically avoids having to face large tasks all at once. We all know if we put our tools back immediately after we use them, we can save lots of time and frustration not looking for them when we need them next. Being an unprocrastinator gives us more time and energy, as well as a faster tax refund!

So, I think I will put off procrastination and organize my tax receipts now -- just as soon as I find them.

Stop the Violence?

2011-01-11T16:45:00.001-06:00

It is hard not to feel pain when listening to reports from Arizona about a gunman who took the life of six people and wounded 15 others. Among the victims was a nine-year-old girl who was born on 9-11 and wanted to attend the town hall meeting to meet her Congresswoman. Christina-Taylor Green was well on her way to becoming someone involved in politics, someone who would help lessen the problems of the world, someone who cared. Will you join me in prayer for her and the other victims of this latest tragedy?

After the shooting I listened to the local news report. There were four shootings and one case of reported arson. I did a quick web search throughout the United States and Canada and found numerous instances of shootings and other acts of violence. Teachers report how school children are being bullied; news reports bombard us with acts of violence, and flag-draped coffins continue to be sent home from the war's front. People who used to wave friendly greetings to each other on the highway now see their wave returned with only one finger. Kids who got in trouble and used to lament that their parents would "be mad at them" are now telling their friends they will "be killed." We live in a violent society, and it appears the violence is only increasing.

Some have speculated that part of the growing trend in violence is the enormous popularity of graphically violent video games. Some have postulated it's the weak global economic situation that has created tensions significant enough to spawn violence. Some have suggested that inflammatory political tactics and polices have contributed to the spike in violence. Some conclude the violence stems from the ongoing war on terror and those religious zealots who instigate others toward acting on their hatreds.

While it's easy to say a combination of all these influences makes for a violent society, I offer another idea: could it be the world is irretrievably lost and the above instances simply reflect that grave condition? It doesn't take a university-trained sociologist to tell us the world has got problems -- big problems. While some of our global malaise is due to tanking economies and ignorant political rhetoric and religious fanaticism and yes, even video game violence, those are merely surface tumors on the face of society.

The real cancer goes to the bone or -- to the soul -- in our case: sin. The world is lost and in love with the very enemy who is hell bent to destroy it: Satan. What a sorry, miserable state of affairs.

And so it would be without help from above. "But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 15:57).

Men, is it time for us to band together and study the Prince of Peace and His plan for our lives? Is it time for us to join together and love God and love our neighbor as ourselves?

What do you think? Is it time?

Taking Down the Decorations

2011-01-04T16:47:00.001-06:00

Ah, yes, this is the week of the Christmas afterglow. The frenetic activity and commercial hype of the Christmas season has wound down. Retailers everywhere are slashing prices, eager to move their overburden of unsold holiday inventory out the front door as they hold their "I would rather sell it cheap than count it" sale. And now the moment has arrived: it's time to take down those decorations that were so carefully hung for all to admire just a few short weeks ago.

What is your tradition this week? Do you leave the decorations up until January 6th and celebrate the Epiphany? Do you have an un-decorating party and get the family together to carefully hand pluck and box the ornaments, de-tinsel the tree, and put all the other Christmas figures and knick-knacks away? And what about the lights? Do you wait until those first warm breezes of spring to take the outdoor lights off the roof, or have you made the executive decision that white lights outside look nice year-round? If you do take them down, do you get a family member or neighbor in on the action, or do you fly solo?

No matter what the tradition or procedure is for taking the decorations down it always fills me with a distinct sense of sorrow. When the decorations go up each year, they herald a new season of joy, family gatherings, gift-giving and all the other good will vibes that make the season bright. Each year the approaching holidays promise new opportunities to reach out to those on our Christmas card list we'd like to be closer to but always seem to lose touch with. Sometimes a Christmas reconnection results from giving somebody that "perfect gift" -- one that's remembered for years to come. Sometimes a mental reconnect is made when family or friends who are visiting take in your carefully preserved Christmas decorations -- decorations they might recognize and remember from years ago when they were displayed on your parents' hutch or dining room table. You've no doubt noticed how some of your prized decorations, like museum artifacts that get more valuable with each passing year, prompt certain reactions from those who have seen them through the decades. Each of these decorations contributes to the joy and pleasure of the Christmas season.

But now, this week, it's all different. The last of the leftovers are being eaten and there's not much left at that. The bevy of gifts that covered the skirt below the tree before Christmas has been reduced to a box or two left to be put away or returned to the store for a different model. The house is empty and quiet (though the voices and images of recently visiting family and friends still press firmly on the memory) and everywhere, right where they were put, still hang the decorations.

So it is always with no small tinge of sadness that I dismantle the intricate displays, box up the ornaments, the lights and the Christmas train and store them away for Christmas 2011. I know when I see these decorations again the world will have changed: I will be a year older. My family, job, finances and future will be something other than what they are right now. These thoughts can fill me with a sense of apprehension or a sense of anticipation. I must confess it is usually both. But then I have to remind myself what the Christmas season is all about. As the decorations are coming down and the Nativity figures are going back into their straw packaging, these trinkets are simply reminders of what God has done for each of us at Christmas: He has given us His Son as the greatest gift of all.

May the year-round Good News of Christmas be yours throughout the New Year!

Resolutions

2010-12-29T10:06:00.001-06:00

I like the game of golf. I am not very good at it, but I like it anyway. My main function in a foursome is to provide comic relief and buy beer. That's not to say I don't savor the challenge of the game however. I enjoy the hunt as I look for errant balls in the rough or the woods. I am thrilled when I actually land a ball on the fairway, especially if it's the fairway for my particular hole. If I use a ball with a Christian message, I feel somewhat better when I lose it. Who knows, somebody might find it and learn more about Jesus because of my strategic slice into the woods!

The best part of the game for me are the memories -- for I always have that one good shot that will keep me coming back for more. It could be the drive that landed farther than anyone else's, the chip into the hole, the putt drained from 40 feet --- these are all things memories are made of. Due to my selective memory, I tend to forget the double and triple bogeys, for those are routine. But it's that one outstanding shot that I replay over and over again that brings me back. I figure if I can do it once, I can do it again.

The other best part of the game is the "mulligan." A mulligan, most simply put, is a do-over. Hit a bad shot? Take a mulligan and replay that stroke. Mulligans are most often employed during friendly rounds with golf buddies or during charity events or tournaments where these valuable scoring commodities are sometimes sold. Yes, I love the mulligan. It's the chance to try again, improve my shot and do better.

As we enter 2011, many around the world engage in a ritual mulligan called the "New Year's Resolution." These resolutions usually involve a do-over in the areas of physical health, mental health, financial health, spiritual health or a myriad of other health-oriented revisions to one's life. The purpose of the resolution is to acknowledge the past as something less than perfect and to amend one's habits to improve the quality of life in the future. The resolution may be to spend more time with the family, exercise, lose weight, quit smoking, enjoy life, quit drinking, get out of debt, learn something new, help others, get organized, pray more and, well, you get the picture.

No matter what the resolution, the one common bond tying them all together is they are usually broken and forgotten by the end of January. Oh, the occasional exception happens, but just as the mulligan really doesn't make one a better golfer, so to the resolution doesn't make one a better person. (Okay, we can argue that point, if you like. My contention here is it is the doing and not the resolving that makes the difference.)

What if this year we don't make a formal resolution that gets broken by the end of January? What if this year we just do it? If we trip up and forget our intentions or get sidetracked or derailed somehow, we just get back on the saddle and keep after it. No questions asked. No self-condemnation over blowing it.

What if we begin these efforts today and get a jump start on the New Year? It's an amazing thing what one guy can do when he sets his mind to it.

All the best to each of you throughout the New Year as you strengthen your commitment to God and His work by, well, by just doing it.

Happy New Year!

The Reason for the Season

2010-12-21T16:44:00.001-06:00

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests."
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen Him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told (Luke 2:1-20).

~~~

This oft-heard narrative is so familiar to most of us we sometimes forget what it is telling us. The heavy irons of our sin that were slowly dragging us under have been completely broken. The power of the enemy, Satan himself, has been destroyed, and he withers before that glorious Form born in a Bethlehem manger.

In a word, there is hope! In God's Word, there is Jesus.

Two thousand years ago, His birth changed everything. His life changed everything. And His death and resurrection most certainly changed everything.

May each of you know the new and forgiven life that is yours through faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

From our homes to yours, we at the Men's NetWork pray you have a joy-filled celebration of our Lord's birth.

God Bless and Merry Christmas!

The Trip

2010-12-14T17:27:00.001-06:00

Soon it will be time for loading up the family vehicle, strapping in the kids, and heading over to grandma's house for the family Christmas celebration. Some of you are fortunate enough that your trip will be short and your children's entertainment requirements will be minimal. Ah, but some of you brave souls will have longer journeys ahead of you.

The excitement of the journey will soon give way to the monotony of wheels droning over the highway and these two classic questions: "Are we there yet?" and "How much longer?" If your kids are older and unencumbered by child car seats, you might get to savor these joyous refrains: "He's touching me!", "Mom, tell him to stop bothering me!" or the ever-golden nugget -- "Dad, tell her to stop looking at me!" Oh, the joys of that young child's precious little voice. One thing's for sure though, the shrieks from the back seat might just be the thing that keeps you awake and alert on the road, but I digress.

Many a father has threatened his brood with the ominous, "Do you want me to stop the car?" (Actually they do, but not right then.) There's also the wonderfully effective, "Cut it out!" -- often delivered at a decibel level that would drown out an airplane engine. In lieu of threats and loud noises, some fathers have tried to quiet their offspring with games. One such favorite is "The Quiet Game." The winner is the last one to utter a noise. Most children will sacrifice their bragging rights and take one for the team by speaking first. As a result, the game will work just so far. "Alphabet games," "I spy" and other favorites seem to work, too, but just a little.

Today, tech-savvy dads are aware of such devices as individual DVD players, PS2 game systems, iPods, and other such devices built to entertain children and insure road safety. I'm a big fan of such survival tools and believe every dad packing his kids for a trip longer than five minutes should get a DVD player, an iPod, and anything else necessary to minimize behavioral problems.

This year when you go "over the river and through the woods" armed with gadgets enough to make James Bond envious, I'd suggest you use these tools to share your faith. That's right. Christian videos, Christian music and even audio Bible stories can go a long way to reinforce your faith teachings and help your child grow in the wisdom and knowledge of the Lord.

Think peace, safety and quiet as you put your Christmas road trip together. Have fun!

December 7, 1941

2010-12-07T16:45:00.001-06:00

On December 7, 1941, the Japanese air attack on the U.S. naval fleet anchored at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, was a moment that will long be remembered as the event that catapulted the United States into World War II. From that date forward, the world was forever changed. As we pause to remember this day, let us also reflect on some other dates that have forever changed our world.

On August 6, 1945, the United States military dropped the first atomic bomb on the city of Hiroshima, Japan. From that day forward, war changed. The monstrosity of that bomb and the one that obliterated Nagasaki three days later made real to the world that man's destructive powers were beyond all imagination. No longer was war relegated to intense fighting of a more-or-less confined geographic nature. All hell had broke loose. Razing a bunker or a building became small potatoes. In the crosshairs now were entire cities. And in man's ultimate aim to end war and find peace, he would destroy and kill whatever was necessary to achieve it -- even if it took an atomic fireball and the lives of tens of thousands.

Sure, bombs had dropped before, but nothing like "Little Boy" and "Fat Man." And as the killing potential of bombs increased, these "weapons of mass destruction" became weighty leverage in the foreign policy of nations possessing them.

The world once again changed on September 11, 2001, as commercial airliners were hijacked and turned into missiles leveled at financial and political targets along our East Coast. The fallout from this act has, in part, fueled retaliatory measures and military campaigns that have spread from Iraq to Afghanistan to Pakistan. The consequence is that today lives the world over are impacted to varying degrees by these hostilities -- whether on battlefields abroad or here in the states -- whether in the desolate foothills of some Afghan province or waiting to clear ever-tightening airport security measures enroute to Memphis. No one escapes the consequences of today's warfare.

Today -- and every day -- it is fitting to remember the sacrifices of our military and those of our servicemen and women who lay their lives on the line. Each individual member of the military is trained and prepared to offer up his or her life so others can live. Each and every member of the military leaves behind a loved one, a family, a parent or a friend as he or she is posted to duty. Each and every member of the military experiences loneliness, frustration and anxiety as he or she faces another day, another posting or another critical order.

As we pause to reflect on our military and its courageous service people, let us also remember those who have stayed at home: the wives, the husbands and the children. They, too, experience stress, loneliness and anxiety with each passing day, every worrisome news report and every upcoming deployment. Men of the Men's NetWork can be there for these families left behind. Men, we can seek out and walk beside those who wait for their loved one to return to their family table. We can pray, listen and provide real help. We can hang Christmas lights, shovel driveways, sweep sidewalks or fix a military family a meal. And then when the day's over, we can pray some more.

As we prepare to celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace, we can offer words of comfort, arms of strength and deeds of kindness to those separated from their loved ones by war or military service.

"Uno Ab Alto" "Semper Fidelis" "Semper Paratus" "Non Sibi Sed Patriae!"
"Per Ardua Ad Astra" "Pro Patria" "Je me souviens" "Acer Ducimus"

The Gift

2010-11-30T16:50:00.001-06:00

I know it's probably way too early to talk about getting that perfect Christmas gift for your wife, fiancée, or girlfriend but, guys, it is time. That's right; gone are the days when a pink ice scraper or a handy, six-pack of 10W-30 from the nearest gas station still qualify as a "thoughtful gift." Sadly, today's woman just doesn't appreciate these things as did the dames of days gone by. That being the case, we might want to reconsider our notion of what a gift is.

First of all, it should be something she wouldn't normally get herself. Women are capable of spoiling themselves, of course, so this will take some thought. You must find that special something she truly desires, yet considers an indulgence.

It must also be something she has only thought about, not actually spoken aloud. This then will require some sleuthing; becoming a Columbo, however, won't be necessary. Be on the lookout for subtle hints -- an open Macy's catalogue with an item circled in lipstick; the coy and subtle, "Let's look at the jewelry counter for a moment"; or a 50% Off! coupon that keeps reappearing alongside your wallet.

Guys, if she actually does mention she would like something, be sure to seize the moment and get it. Or, more to the point, drop everything and go and get it! Why? Chances are she will not mention it again and should this gift not appear on schedule, she will remember she told you.

And one more thing, neglect not the presentation. As odd as it might sound, women do not consider Sunday comics an appropriate gift wrapping. The temptation will be to use the store bag to conceal the gift since most stores at this time have some holiday theme printed on the side but, trust me, this really isn't a good idea either. Here you may have to pony up some coins for something a little more appropriate. Hint: the gift wrap table at the mall is a good place to start. If it's a table operated by some charity, even better. You get a custom-wrapped gift, help out a good cause, and won't look like a buffoon to that sweetheart in your life -- all for the cost of a few singles. Indeed, it's a small price to pay.

Perhaps, as a cautionary tale, it would be helpful to share with you a few gifts that weren't well received: vinyl rain gear and galoshes; a Big Bertha driver and three dozen golf balls (make sure she plays golf first); an adjustable wrench set; and a high octane, propane-injected, flesh-roasting barbecue grill. Learn from your comrades' mistakes and save yourself from these embarrassments. You'll only have to return them anyway.

Now, on to the important stuff. There is one gift that will always bring a smile to her lips and maybe even a tear to her eyes. It will require a great sacrifice on your part, but it will be worth it. It is a gift given rarely and hence all the more appreciated: a love letter. Yes, take the time and write her a poem, a story, or a letter that tells her how special she is, how beautiful she is, how cherished she is and how awesome she is. I know, this endeavor is way out of our comfort zone, but she will save the letter in her special dresser drawer and when she is feeling down, she will bring it out, read it and she will know she is a special, gifted and treasured person.

You can do it. After all, you asked her out, proposed to her, and married her (or possibly are giving it some serious thought). She has to be beautiful, prized and totally awesome!

Go get her, Tiger!

The Tree

2010-11-28T01:31:00.001-06:00

Soon men all over the world will embark on that glorious and venerated tradition of picking the "perfect Christmas tree" for their living room or den. These 21st-century pioneers will blaze trails through forests of live trees armed with a razor-sharp hatchet or enough chainsaw horsepower to carve their way through the Amazon Rainforest. Others will wander through cut-tree corrals that have sprung up, almost magically, on church parking lots or vacant corner properties where convenience stores used to be. The quest for the perfect tree has brought weak men to their knees and strong men to tears, for (as every man knows) there is no perfect tree. Oh, there are stories told of men who have come close, beaming before their doting wives and bug-eyed offspring with their tree-selecting prowess (only to be disappointed once the tree has been erected by an unseen bare spot or a knotted trunk that won't set right in the stand). Sadly, in the end, many have come to believe the perfect tree is an urban myth foisted with subtle, cornpone deception by tree lot operators and tree nursery owners across this great land of ours.

And here's the reason why. The perfect tree must be tall enough to satisfy the children, whose self-esteem can be crushed by having too small a tree, but small enough to stand in the room. The perfect tree must be wide enough to accommodate every ornament, but not so wide as to impede movement through the living room. The perfect tree must have full and symmetrical branches, but must have openings to frame each and every ornament in order to maximize the wow factor. The perfect tree must have long enough needles to last throughout the season, in spite of a lack of water. For these reasons and others, some men have opted out for the artificial tree as a way to minimize squabbles at the tree farm and to preserve domestic tranquility. But, alas, even manmade trees fall short of perfect tree requirements, leading men to ask the universal question, "Why do I do this?"

Men, the tree season is upon us. Older men, it is time to step back and watch the younger men approach the task with naïve joy, leading their families into the wilds of the forest or tree corral determined that they will not only find -- but also obtain -- the perfect Christmas tree. Older men, let them be! They need to learn for themselves what took decades of tree expeditions and countless living room debates to achieve -- the perfect tree is in the eyes of the beholder.

Yes, that is the secret older men have guarded throughout the centuries. The perfect tree does exist -- in the eyes of the beholder. One man's perfect tree may be another man's third choice, but that is okay. For you know you made the perfect pick when you gather the family around the tree, throw the switch, and watch their faces light up. After a collective gasp, the room falls silent as they gawk and wonder how they ever doubted your selection. And then the smiles form, your wife reaches out her hand and you know... this is a perfect tree.

Well done, good and faithful tree picker-outer. This Christmas is for you and all those like you.

May your tree be perfect this year!

Of Veterans and Days

2010-11-16T16:31:00.001-06:00

Last week America and Canada paused to remember and honor their veterans -- the brave men and women of the armed forces. There were special ceremonies, parades, speeches and moments of silence throughout North America paying tribute to servicemen and women. November 11 was chosen for this special day of recognition in commemoration of the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of the year 1918 -- the hour, month and day that hostilities ended in "The Great War" or "the war to end all wars." Up until that date, the world had not witnessed such devastation and human impact from war. The entire world was altered in a way unparalleled before that conflict. WW I saw the utilization of killing methods and machines far beyond the imagination of the common man: poison gas, flame throwers, heavily armored tanks, machine guns, long-range cannons and bomb-dropping airplanes maimed and killed combatants and civilians alike on a scale never before seen.

In spite of this death and destruction -- and the unmistakable alarm that such unrestrained hostility should have sounded -- the world was by no means finished with war. World War II, Korea, Vietnam, the conflict in the Gulf, Iraq and Afghanistan have each taken their deadly human toll around the globe. And there appears to be no end in sight when it comes to a lasting and reasonable peace either. Mankind's sinister appetite for war and political dominance show little chance of subsiding. And with each new or resurrected conflict there is always the need for soldiers and their willpower to fight. Those men and women who march into battle are the true backbone and muscle of any military.

As we move past our nation's special day of remembrance, let us not forget to honor and affirm the veterans of our country. Like all of us, men and women in uniform knew the stresses of ordinary, daily life. More significantly, however, they also knew that at any time they may be called upon to fight and even lay down their lives for the sake of the greater good. Those who paid the ultimate price in service to this country hold a special place in our national and personal memories, as do those soldiers who have returned from service. Together they have created -- and now share -- a valorous tradition that endures for the ages.

As we move forward, let us seek out the brothers and sisters among us who have worn the uniform. Let us thank and walk beside them for their considerable sacrifices on our behalf. Let us seek ways to support and befriend them and the military. This can be anything from sending care packages to active duty troops to sitting and listening to stories of World War II, Korea, Vietnam or other conflicts. Let us never take for granted the courage it requires to put on the uniform. Let us be outspoken in our honor. Let us remember that though Veterans Day has passed, we can still count every day as a day to honor our nation's soldiers.

Thank you, veterans, for going above and beyond.

The service standard you have set empowers us all.

Holiday Traditions

2010-11-09T16:40:00.001-06:00

It's upon us: Thanksgiving and Christmas have arrived. No longer do the stores wait until the morning of the day after Thanksgiving to start their Christmas sales barrage. Now we can get "Black Friday sales" every day. Isn't that awesome? The best part is we don't even have to leave the cozy comfort of our favorite recliner to get these breathtaking deals. The retail world is more than happy to accept our credit cards over a secure server in order to bring the store to our front door! The days of running to a nearby convenience store on Christmas Eve for those last-minute gifts is so passé. Now guys can shop online during commercials or -- if they want to get all their Christmas shopping done -- can take care of it during halftime. What a brave new world we live in!

When I think about it, it's probably even archaic to refer to the upcoming days as "Thanksgiving" and "Christmas." It seems more correct to refer to this time of the year as the "holiday season," so as not to offend any with the word: "Christmas." But forsooth, I digress. For the purpose of this brief missive, let's agree that "holiday season" refers to the weeks from Thanksgiving to Christmas -- with a few days tossed in after Christmas for good measure.

So, what holiday traditions do you celebrate? Does the family gather at grandma's house for turkey, dressing, and mincemeat pie on Thanksgiving? Does your family have other chosen foods and time-honored festivities planned for this special day of thanks? After the feast, do the kids go outside and toss a football around, while the adults slowly drop like flies, surrendering to tryptophan-induced comas? Do the board games come out of the closet? And what about Friday, the day after? Is everybody off to the mall to cash in on the bargains?

What about Christmas? Do you have a real tree, an artificial one, or is the picture of the tree on the calendar good enough? Do you open presents Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, or whenever you see one with your name on it? Will a visit from St. Nick be a part of the tradition? Will he find cookies and milk waiting for him when he hauls in his cache of presents for family members -- every one of whom, remarkably, has been very good this year? Will there be events outside of the home that take place during Christmas? Will caroling, a bonfire in the country, or a family visit to a nursing home, homeless shelter, or hospice house be part of your plans?

Guys, traditions play an important part in our families. I remember fondly my Dad's role as "turkey carver," and I will always remember when that baton was passed to me. I remember the kids in their PJs waking us up Christmas morning to open up presents. I remember the warm glow and smell of candles on Christmas Eve. Growing up, my family's traditions grounded me and I looked forward to Christmas unlike any other time of the year. These fun and familiar routines let me know there was a constant in the world. Even when I was out in the deep end for a while, the traditions of Thanksgiving and Christmas wrapped their arms around me and tugged at my heart. In the end, they made a huge difference in my perspective.

Gents, I would suggest you continue or start two traditions this year. At Thanksgiving have each member of the family share (aloud) a blessing he or she is thankful for, and at Christmas gather the family together and read the Christmas story (aloud) from Luke 2.

You might just find this year's "holiday season" takes on a whole new meaning.

If it does, drop us a line and tell us your story. You can be an inspiration to others.

Dad's Arms

2010-11-02T16:53:00.001-05:00

I can still feel my Dad's arms as he gave me a bear hug when I left home. He and I both knew from that day forward our relationship would be changing: I was getting married and would no longer be under his roof. Oh, we would visit, of course, and there would still be times when we'd reflect back on how it used to be, but life was going to be different. He had strong arms and his hug spoke volumes to me. In his strength I knew he would always be there for me; he would support me, and he would still be Dad. That's just the way it was.

Over the years I've reflected on how Dad's arms were so important to me. I look at pictures of when he held me after I came home from the hospital, his arms holding me next to his chest. I remember how his arms steadied my bicycle as I wobbled forward in a quest to ride a two-wheeler. I can see his bare arms on the shovel as he dug a foundation for the porch. I smile as I recall the weight of his arm as he put it around me as I sat in church. And then there was fishing. His arms would swing in a great, fluid movement as he snapped a lure across the lake -- dropping it into the widening circles where the fish had just broke water.

Over the years Dad's arms grew weaker, yet they never quite lost their power to make a difference. He continued to offer his arms in the service of his church -- using them to count the offerings or do something needing to be done inside. He used his arms to dig garden beds for Mom. Her own diminished capabilities were the perfect opening for him to plant flowers that she could see from her favorite window. Though he was moving slower by this time, his arms were always in service for others.

This past weekend I listened to a sermon that considered Luther's view of vocation and how we all wear the masks of God. In other words, Luther was telling us we are the hands, feet, and arms of God in service to others. That struck me as I remembered how many times Dad used his arms -- his hands -- in service to others. As a consequence, he inspired me to continue the tradition of using my arms -- my hands -- in service to God.

I thank God for Dad's arms. They were there for me; they were there for others, and they were not idle.

It's That Time of Year

2010-10-26T16:52:00.001-05:00

You know the 2010 Election Day has to be close when you see back-to-back TV ads proclaiming candidates who will lower taxes, raise taxes, create more government, slash government, continue the great work of the incumbent party, reverse the unparallel disasters of the incumbent party, grow new jobs, slash jobs, build America, or tear down America. Yep, it's hard to tell the players based on the ads. Then again, the radio isn't much better; sometimes it's hard to catch the weather in between all the ads that tout the good qualities of the candidate while boldly proclaiming the terrible deeds of the opponent. As I listen to the ads I often ponder what a new immigrant to America must think of the politics of this country. I also wonder how much good could be done if the money used on all these ads might get directed toward social ministry -- but I digress.

What the party ads are designed to do is to capture your vote -- that all-important X next to the name of their candidate. When you go into the voting booth next Tuesday, candidates are counting on the fortunes spent for media exposure will help you decide to vote for that person. It is all about the X. Okay, the candidates have a whole other agenda and sincerely want to help America and the people they represent; I firmly believe every politician wants to do good for the country, state, county, or city in which they seek office. But I also believe that at this time of year, all the ads, the hype, the talk, and the buzz are geared with one thing in mind: get your vote.

So, do you vote?

I have voted in nearly every election in which I have been eligible. I have stood in line for long periods of time to cast my ballot in a hotly contested national election, and I have been one of a handful of voters casting votes in a local library bond issue. I believe I am one of the most privileged people in the world in that I have a vote. No one will keep me away from the polling place and no one will demand to know how I voted. I have the freedom, nay, the right, to vote a confidential ballot free from coercion, threat, or punishment. I take that right as a responsibility and I make every effort to cast my ballot every chance I get.

I think it is important for me to model what it means to be an active citizen in the election process. Hence my family, my neighbors, and my friends all know I have voted. I also believe it is an individual choice as to what candidates, issues, or party one chooses to support. Hence I do not share my vote lest my family, my neighbors, or my friends are swayed by my choices.

In this part of the country we keep hearing the phrase, "man up!" It means we have to step up and vote in this election.

I agree. Will you man up?

Your vote is important.

Don't waste it by missing out on this important opportunity to help shape America.

The Strength of a Man

2010-10-19T16:35:00.001-05:00

Many a boy has stood toe to toe with a classmate and uttered those famous words, "My dad can beat up your dad." Yep, boys take pride in the strength of their dads. The stronger one's dad was, the bigger the boy's swagger.

But how do we measure the strength of a man, especially today. I suspect we still put great stock in the amount of weight a man can press, curl, or lift with the larger the poundage, the greater the respect in the eyes of his fellow men. But I would postulate the strength of a man can be measured in other ways besides pounds lifted.

I would put forth that a man's strength can also be measured by his character. It is my opinion a man can be strong when he puts his faith above the assaults of the world. I believe it takes a strong man to buck the tide of peer pressure and uphold biblical truth. There are times when courage is required to state one's views in the face of a backlash from those who uphold political correctness in all instances. It takes a strong man to speak up for that which is moral and ethical in opposition to the majority. A strong man will not always be popular.

I would also venture an opinion that a man can show strength in tending to his family by putting his family first. I believe it takes a strong man to choose changing diapers over changing channels or shopping with the wife over drinking with the boys. A strong man takes care of his family first.

I think it is a strong man who takes responsibility for his actions -- even if those actions cause problems. A strong man is one who can say, "Yep. I did it." An even stronger man will then accept the consequences his actions might lead to, not trying to lay blame on others. It may not be easy, but it will -- ultimately -- make things better.

I think the strength of a man is measured in many ways with, perhaps, the greatest strength coming from living as a Christian -- forgiven and forgiving, trusting and trusted -- showing Christ in all that is done and said.

How strong are you?

Just Wait Until Your Dad Gets Home

2010-10-12T17:03:00.001-05:00

There was a time in America that moms would stay at home and dads would go to work. The kids, especially in the summer, were fairly free to roam the neighborhood and do what kids do: have fun and sometimes get in trouble. Moms usually watched out for any kids that happened to be within watching distance. The mom network was a very tight-knit group and any transgression committed by a child was soon reported to the appropriate mother. The mother would then stand on the front stoop and call out her child's name in a voice that would stop any kid in his tracks within earshot. The unfortunate soul whose name was called had two options. He could run home and face the music (never the preferred choice) or he could bolt to the nearest pier looking for any ocean-going vessel needing a young deckhand.

In this instance (and because the nearest ocean was 1,500 miles away), the kid chose to face the consequences.

Upon entering the house, the door was closed, the child was ushered into a chair, and the charges were enumerated. If the transgression warranted a higher authority, the child was summarily dismissed to his bedroom with the ominous "Wait until your father comes home!" ringing in his ears. No greater foreboding was possessed by a young boy's mind than that which rattled his brain between mom's words and dad's footsteps through the front door.

Mom was tough, but dad was dreaded.

I recently overheard a new mom discussing how her daughter reacts to discipline. This young mom is the one who goes to work and dad is the one who stays home to raise their daughter. The mom was sharing how her 18-month-old daughter will seldom respond to mom's discipline efforts, but when dad speaks, the daughter jumps to obey. The mom thought this was not fair, but made the observation that in her upbringing, it was dad she feared, not mom. Mom would discipline, but dad would punish. She further observed that her dad's voice was what she feared. It was loud, deep, and authoritative. She laughed as she mentioned hearing stories from her mom telling how before any discipline took place her mom had to sit in the bedroom until dad returned from work. The young mom wondered why do children respond to dad more than mom?

As I overheard her talking I couldn't help but hear my confirmation pastor admonish his students: "You are to fear and love God." Maybe this is part of the answer -- I feared my dad; I loved my dad. Whether it's a more powerful, you've-got-my-full-attention-now voice or some other quality, part of who dads are produces both love and a healthy amount of fear in their children.

Perhaps fearing and loving my dad made it easier to understand how I was to fear and love God?

Now I wonder why that is?

Let's Put the "Civil" Back into Civilization

2010-10-05T16:40:00.001-05:00

Is it just me or is society a much colder and crueler place now than in years gone by? The recent report of a college student killing himself after a video of him in a compromising act became public is just one more example of how I think society is deteriorating. Increasingly, it seems more school children are reporting being bullied at school; more violent crimes are being committed and, evidently, disagreeing without resorting to angry taunts is a fast-fading social skill. Perhaps it is just me, but even driving on the highway seems to prompt confrontations over who has right of way, how long is a legal stop at a stop sign, and what exactly is a red light. One wouldn't have to wait very long in any city to hear horns blaring, see fingers flying, or watch a driver pounding his or her steering wheel while expressing a nasty opinion about the driver in front. Even churches have become the target of hate through vandalism or arson.

Religion, politics, and sexual orientation are hot buttons in today's world. I sometimes wonder about people's reactions to things. Economically, of course, times are tricky, but haven't we faced crushing financial crises in the past? Sure, there are terrorist freaks who threaten regional or global peace by appropriating religion as an excuse for their wanton bloodbaths, but haven't there always been zealous fanatics and related struggles in the past? And what of the proliferation of gratuitous sexual behavior and display of all types? Contemporary man has no corner on that market. Though, the worldwide visibility and access of it surely is beyond that known to earlier generations.

Is there no hope? Are we doomed to continue a headlong spiral down the porcelain convenience?

I think not. I think as guys we have the ability to change the downward societal spiral one person and one family at a time. Guys, we have influence, especially in our families. How we handle our finances, our anger, and our treatment of our neighbor does impact our families, our co-workers, and our communities. From which sports team we cheer for, to the type of car we drive, we influence the next generation. How often have you heard, "We are a Ford family" or "I will only drive a Chevy"? We even influence the drinks our family puts in the fridge. If we drink Coca-Cola, our children likely will too.

So perhaps it's as simple as each of us, individually, making a commitment to be civil to one another. We do not have to give up our religion or politics. We do not have to agree on everything, nor do we have to compromise. But maybe we just have to treat others with respect and dignity.

What do you think? (Don't you like it how I asked you for your opinion?)

Who's Watching You?

2010-09-28T16:37:00.000-05:00

I had gone through the buffet line and sat down to enjoy my meal. The restaurant was crowded and the only seat available was next to a family already eating. I put my food on the table, bowed my head and thanked God for the meal. I looked up and heard the young boy next to me say, "Dad, we forgot."

His Dad looked over and asked, "Forgot what?"

"To pray"

I silently said another prayer: "Thank You, God, for allowing me to be a witness."

It may be the kids, the neighbors, the people at work, or the dozens of nameless faces you pass by every day, but you are noticed. Your actions, big or little, can have an effect on theirs that you may never know. For example, you might be at the store, pay your bill, receive too much change, and return the overage. You may think nothing of it. It's just what you naturally do. But for the person in line behind you, your example may be just what they needed to see. Your action may have impacted their life, but you don't or won't know about it.

What about how you handle anger? A driver cuts you off, and you blurt out hellfire phrase at them as the kids listen. Will what you say be a positive influence on the young minds alongside you or in the back seat? Will your reaction give them a quick-and-easy lesson in how not to keep their cool? Yep. Whether we like it or not, others are listening.

I recently took a flight on a small aircraft and sat in front of a father and his young son. The seats were so close that a private conversation was impossible. I put on my headphones and listened to the tunes for the flight, but the time came when I had to "turn off all electronic devices." I then heard the father talking to his son. He was explaining to him the mechanics of the landing -- how the flaps worked, the landing gear, and the brakes. That was a dad who was making a difference in his son's life; he talked with him.

Then there was the man who ran to the door ahead of a woman who had her hands full of packages. He opened the door for her and wished her a good day. He brought a smile to a stranger's lips and offered a model of behavior for others.

Guys, we are noticed by what we do and the words we speak. Let us always show others our best.

What's On Your Mind?

2010-09-21T16:33:00.001-05:00

Barna Group is a research and resource company located in Ventura, California. It focuses on gathering data and assessing the intersection of faith and culture. The Barna Group offers a range of customized research, resources, and training to serve churches, non-profits, businesses, and leaders. The Barna Group recently released its latest research on the issues Americans have on their minds today. Not surprisingly, they found there were differences among age groups, political groups, and churched groups. They did, however, find one issue on which 98 percent of those polled agreed: the economy.

It is indeed rare to have any single issue receive a majority on any poll, at any time. Therefore, the significance of 98 percent of those responding choosing the economy as their number-one issue today is significant. The respondents identified various parts of the economic picture as their priority. For some it was job creation. For others it was unemployment, financial hardship, the national debt, the recession, and tax worries. The common denominator was how those polled were all fixed on economic issues.

Perhaps you are one of the thousands who find themselves faced with unemployment or under-employment. All other issues fade as you struggle to provide food, clothing, and a roof for your family. Perhaps you are one of the thousands who are retiring or are retired and are faced with increased healthcare costs while struggling with a fixed budget. Perhaps you are a newly minted college graduate faced with competing with a glut of applicants vying for a limited number of jobs. Perhaps you are looking at your monthly expenses and wondering how to pay rising utility and rent bills while facing increased tax obligations from city, state, and federal governments trolling for more revenue. Perhaps you are personally secure but lose sleep each night over the financial future our children and grandchildren will inherit. Yes, it is easy to see why 98 percent of those polled agree that financially related issues are today's number-one concern.

I struggle with the issue of finances along with everyone else. As a man I am troubled since there is nothing I can do to fix it. As a man I have problems with asking people for a handout or a hand up. As a man I find it difficult sharing my anxieties with my wife, my pastor, or my friend. I do not want them thinking less of me because I'm grappling with an issue I should supposedly have control over.

But as guys maybe that is just what we need to do -- share what's on our mind with our spouse, our pastor, or our friend. And while we're doing that, let's not forget to share our mind with our Heavenly Father. He knows our every distress -- financial and otherwise. He understands every unspoken fear we have in our hearts. And He is there -- ready and willing -- to listen.

We live in demanding times to be sure, but our God is greater than any problems we may face.

What's on your mind? Would a consultation with Him over the matter be of great value to you?

Are You Ready For Some Football?

2010-09-14T16:14:00.001-05:00

The first weekend of the NFL is in the books. Empties have been put in the recycle bin, nacho cheese drippings have been cleaned from coffee tables, and sports DJs have enough to keep them talking until next weekend. Fantasy football team rosters are being scrutinized with an eye out for trades to improve the lineup. From now until the Super Bowl XLV, men will argue with the TV, second guess coaches, and insert themselves onto the field.

One reason guys watch sports like football is because it gives us an opportunity to vicariously live out a life of action while comfortably loafing in our "man caves." We imagine ourselves in the line stopping the opposing forces from sacking our QB. It's about using muscle and brain power. We have to outwit, outmaneuver, and win the battle of the line. Sure, some of us relate to the QB, the receivers, or the running backs, but for many of us the action on the line is what gets our heart fired up.

What is even more fun for many of us is to second guess the coaches. When they agree with us, they're brilliant. When they make a boneheaded decision, they should be banished to coach a farm club or, better yet, booted from the league altogether. Then there are the referees. Don't get us started on bad calls, missed penalties, or the horror of impacting the outcome of a game (always erroneously, of course) by throwing a flag. C'mon! No one person should be able to determine the outcome of a game in the final two minutes for an infraction like "holding." Hey, let the guys play!

Men get passionate about football. But perhaps it's time we get as passionate about our role as Christian men. What if we would invite the boy with the absent dad over to watch some football or get outside and toss a few bombs to the neighborhood kids? Wouldn't that give us a chance to get to know and encourage them through friendship and a relevant witness? What if we would spend as much time memorizing our Bible as we do memorizing team stats and player salaries? Wouldn't that make a difference in how we live? What if we set aside the same amount of time to be with our wife as we do for football? Watch out on that one! It might just enrich your marriage more than you can handle.

There will always be another thing coming down the line to preoccupy us.

The puck drops on preseason games September 21!

See what I mean?

Labor Day

2010-09-07T17:00:00.001-05:00

Did you grill hot dogs and burgers? Did you go camping? Did you winterize your cabin? Did you cut the grass and wash the windows? Did you watch football and go to church? If you have a family, perhaps it was a weekend to make memories for the kids that will last a lifetime. No matter how you celebrated the three-day Labor Day holiday, I pray it was relaxing and rewarding.

We celebrate Labor Day as a way to honor the working man with a three-day weekend and to give him -- or her -- a break from the day-to-day routine of working. This weekend is the unofficial end to the summer holiday. Starting the Tuesday after Labor Day, students return to class, stores gear up for Halloween sales, and resorts begin to change their signs to announce "off-season" rates. Labor Day marks the end of one season and the start of another.

As we stop and reflect on the role of work and rest in our lives, it's appropriate to remember the importance we put on earning a living. I would guess many of you reading this can say with pride you've had a job ever since you were a boy: pedaling newspapers, cutting grass, bagging groceries -- each providing a first entry into the working world. From there we took jobs that -- at one time or another -- distinguished themselves for how lousy they truly were. Surely each of us can remember the day we left a particularly dismal job and rejoiced in knowing we would never have to do that again!

There are other low points that go with working that can pass our way too. A few of us can remember the day we were called into the boss's office and asked to sit down. We listened and were stunned when we were told our services were no longer needed. Coming in very high on the emotional Richter scale is job termination for most people -- a veritable kick in the head that rattles one's confidence and sense of self-worth. With losing a job, we go through the stages of grief in the same way we would if a family member dies. Without a doubt money is important, but be sure to see your value beyond your job and paycheck -- even in these demanding times.

There is more to our existence than our occupations. We have a vocation - "a calling," if you will -- from God. We are called to be men of God, deeply committed to His Word and sharing His truths whenever possible. We are also called to be husbands, fathers, as well as Christian leaders in our family, our community, and our church. We do not find our worth in our paycheck, but in God's priceless Word.

As we come away from the celebration of our occupation, let us never tire of the joy of our vocation.

(For more about this topic check out Working For The Man Upstairs - Your Job... Your Calling... Your Life! from the Men's NetWork.)

Mountain Men

2010-08-31T17:12:00.001-05:00

Mountains -- we sing about them; we write about them; we long to be in them. Mountains have held men's fascination throughout history. Names like Jim Bridger, Buffalo Bill Cody, Kit Carson, Jedediah Smith, and Zebulon Pike fill us with daydreams of conquering a vast, uncharted wilderness. Daniel Boon may have conquered the Appalachians, but Lewis and Clark pried open a window of knowledge about how immeasurable our world really is. The Mountain Men -- fur-trappers and pelt traders -- opened the routes to the fertile valleys of the West as they crossed the snow-capped peaks. Collectively, they came to know every river valley, safe passage route, teeming stream, mountain pass, fresh water source, and barren stretch of plain. They also knew the best hunting and wild game areas and, of course, Indian territory.

If you ever take time to explore mountains, it doesn't take long to picture a small log cabin next to a stream, stocked with enough provisions to hole up for the winter. We can picture times spent in the primeval forests tracking game, armed with only a trusty long rifle, hunting knife, and a hard-won knowledge of the woods. It doesn't take long for us to get in touch with that spark within us that longs to be self-reliant, self-sufficient, and self-assured. Standing on the top of a mountain looking down into a valley filled with verdant trees, gurgling streams, and plentiful game reminds us that there was a time when men didn't have to sit in a cubicle, surrounded by artificial light facing deadlines instead of danger. Breathing pine-scented air contrasts with the car exhaust we have grown used to. Rousing from a heavy slumber to cool air washing over our faces gives us a peace in our heart and mind that we may rarely feel and often can't find even if we wanted to.

Men, we can't all live in the mountains. We can't all be self-reliant trappers living off the land. We live in the valleys; we live in the cities; we live in the towns; we live in the plains, and we live in the fields and farms. That's life in the 21st century.

But we can be "Mountain Men" no matter where we live. We can be the leaders, the explorers, the men who provide for their families and for their communities. We may not stalk game in the woods, but we can put food on the table. We may not blaze new trails through rugged canyon passes, but we can find new ways to do our work. We may not be fiercely individualistic, but we can stand apart from the crowd.

Collectively, we can seek out and know the dangers of the world. Together we can know how to fight these dangers as we arm ourselves with the power of God's relentless Word. We can lead our families and our communities to this knowledge too. And in this pursuit I say, let us all be Mountain Men.

See you over the next ridge.

Back to School

2010-08-24T17:07:00.001-05:00

Ahh, it's that time of the year again. Stores hawk their "back-to-school" wares in bold print; children are drug into fitting rooms to get sized for clothes they can grow into; bus drivers learn new routes and consider the challenges ahead; teachers staple colorful rules and pictures to bulletin boards, and parent's everywhere are preoccupied with their own back-to-school rituals.

For some parents the first day of school is the first day of significant separation from their child. Mothers will anxiously part from their precious little angels and stifle a tear as their child bounds forward into the wonderful world of education. These women will encourage, uplift, and sustain each other until school dismisses, and their child is safely back in the fold. Veteran school moms will view their sisters with a twinge of envy as they remember their own first-partings, but they will smile the smile of the insider, knowing their child will be cared for, loved, entertained and, with a little luck, will even learn a thing or two along the way.

For some moms, the first day of school will hit them hard as their "baby" will be leaving the house. She will come face to face with her own mortality as she sees a foreshadowing of a later empty nest. She will return to a quieter house, fewer demands on her time and, maybe, be able to watch the TV shows of her own choosing. The emptier house will remind her that her job as mom has now moved to a different level. Her child is growing up, and she must now let her young one flex the wings she tried so hard to fashion over the years.

Guys, we need to know about this. The annual back-to-school thing is a big deal for the women in our lives. Men, we have a tendency to see the rites of passage for our children in a different way. We may get stoked about the first fish our child caught, or the first basket made, or the first touchdown scored, or the first trophy awarded and -- dare we say it -- we might even get emotional at the first speeding ticket. But let's face it guys, we are not all that in tune with the whole school process.

Guys, we really do need to be involved in our child's education. We need to be there at Parent's Day, PTA meetings, field trips, and homework. Men, we need to spend as much time with our kid's academics as we do with their sports; the benefits last a lifetime.
Guys, not only do we need to get involved in our child's education, we need to be active learners ourselves. We need to read, go to seminars, read, attend lectures, read, and even attend some classes. Our world is constantly changing, and nothing prepares us for the future like being a lifelong learner.

Welcome back to school!

In Celebration of Fathers

2010-08-17T16:58:00.001-05:00

Recently I was privileged to attend a birthday party for Lewis. Lewis celebrated his two-year milestone with a huge gathering in the park. Over 80 people were on hand to sing "Happy Birthday" to Lewis for this was a very special day. Lewis was born premature and his chance of survival was very low. After months in the neo-natal intensive care unit, followed by more than a year of intensive therapy, hospital visits, and surgeries, Lewis became two.

In his short life Lewis has developed certain likes and dislikes. For instance, he likes trains; he dislikes sitting still. He likes "Curious George" the monkey; he dislikes getting his face washed. He likes trucks; he dislikes taking a nap. He likes the TV remote; he dislikes "time outs." He likes "Frosty," the pet dog; he dislikes being cuddled. He is a typical boy. He still faces an uphill health battle in that he has never developed the ability to eat or drink on his own. All of his nourishment is delivered via a feeding tube inserted into his stomach. He carries around a small backpack that contains his food and the pump that provides his life-giving liquid. This backpack slows Lewis down, the weight keeping him from all-out running. Oh, that reminds me, he likes to run; he dislikes walking.

Lewis's mom and dad, grandpas and grandmas pulled all the stops for this special celebration of life. There were the obligatory balloons, presents, and cake. In honor of the birthday boy, a train was there for rides, and the cake was a "Thomas the Train" cake. But, perhaps best of all, Lewis was free of his backpack for the afternoon. He was in his glory! He ran, he laughed, he chased, he rode, he laughed, and he played.

As I watched, I noticed an interesting thing: Lewis's dad was always nearby. He hovered just far enough to give Lewis his freedom, but close enough to be there if something would go wrong. Whenever dad was called away for a chore, one of the grandpas took his place. There was always a dad nearby -- just in case. Sitting on the outside of the shelter was the patriarch of the family -- Lewis' great-grandfather. He watched over his clan with eyes that had watched over many a child through the years. He smiled as he saw the torch passed to the younger dads.

Dads, no matter what our personal life is like, our family is job one. We watch over them, giving them the freedom to falter, but we are always there to build up. What a joy that is! Let us never tire of that.

Of Monkeys and Traditions

2010-08-10T16:12:00.001-05:00

I just read an interesting story about how traditions begin. It seems as if some scientists wanted to conduct an experiment to see if they could determine behavior. They placed five monkeys in a closed cage with a set of steps in the middle. They hung a banana from the top of the cage that was only accessible by climbing the steps. As soon as the first monkey started up the steps, they drenched the other four monkeys with cold water. They kept repeating this procedure. Each time a monkey climbed the steps to retrieve the banana they hosed the other monkeys with cold water. The results of the experiment were fascinating.

At first the monkeys that did not climb the stairs would run for cover as soon as one of the monkeys ascended the first step. But they could not escape the cold water. They then started violently beating any monkey that started to climb up the steps. The scientists stopped spraying them with cold water when this happened. Soon no monkey would try to climb the steps; instead, they would sit and ignore the food.

Then the scientists removed one monkey from the group and replaced it with a monkey that had never experienced the cold water. Soon that monkey would start up the steps and get thrashed for the effort. The scientists then removed another of the original monkeys and watched as this monkey tried to climb the stairs to the banana. The other monkeys would beat the newcomer, even the monkey that was not part of the original group learned to beat any monkey that dared climb the stairs in spit eof never experiencing the cold water.

The scientists eventually replaced all five of the original monkeys with monkeys that never experienced the cold water. All five would just sit and ignore the banana, refusing to climb the stairs, even though they had no first-hand experience as to why stair climbing led to beatings. They learned and practiced tradition over first-hand experience.

Men, how many of us are like those replacement monkeys, blindly following traditions without knowing -- or caring to know -- the reason behind the traditions? Have we been so conditioned by society that we blindly follow others' orders and adjust our typical way of doing things without questioning why? Have we been so conditioned by traditions and the "We've always done it that way," mentality that we are blind to all non-traditional methods and procedures?

Men, I am going to challenge you to forget your comfort zone of easy excuses and step up to be a leader in your family. Be a leader that prays out loud -- daily, sings out loud -- in church, and is seen to be a lifelong learner -- by actually reading a book.

It's my guess that not too many of us do all three. Why? We have never done it that way before.

Here We Go Again

2010-08-03T16:40:00.001-05:00

We are just about in the middle of primary season -- the time when local politicians try to convince the voters that "all politics are local." We are bombarded by TV ads, radio spots, yard signs, and newspaper editorials; blogs and phone calls tout the merits of each candidate while putting down the qualifications of opponents. I find it amusing that if we really believed all the pre-ballot hyperbole every candidate should not be elected at best or put in jail at worst.

Former President Bill Clinton summed up the political process in a 1992 speech to the Detroit Economic Club, "No wonder Americans hate politics when, year in and year out, they hear politicians make promises that won't come true because they don't even mean them -- campaign fantasies that win elections but don't get nations moving again." He certainly is qualified to make that statement.

So what is a guy supposed to do? It's easy to say politicians are self-serving, putting their personal interest above the good of the whole. It's easy to say most national politicians have saddled our future generations with a debt seemingly impossible to repay. It's easy to say local politicians are following the lead of the national trend to taxation and slim majority legislation. It's easy to become apathetic and callous to all the campaign hype. It's easy to be cynical, critical, and sarcastic.

What is hard is to actually care -- to examine what office seekers write, say, and do. What is hard is to try and make a difference with your ballot. What is hard is to support the will of the majority. What is hard is to vote for the pro-life candidate, even if they want to raise taxes.

What is even harder is to get involved to the point that you would run for office. We have many Christians running for election this primary season. Perhaps we need to seek them out, support them, work for them and, most of all . . . pray for them.

In fact, why don't we pray for all of them -- even the non-Christians?

The Economy and Our Country

2010-07-27T16:14:00.001-05:00

Let's face it, no matter what you've heard on the news, read on the Internet, or picked up at your local watering hole, the American economy is in tough straits. It has been rather lousy for some time now and looks as if it will stay bad for awhile. But what are the long-term effects on our country and its populace?

According to a report from the Barna Group issued July 26, 2010, the weakened economy seriously impacts what Americans consider to be their priorities in life. In the face of a continued lackluster marketplace, many Americans have focused on surviving and thriving. When asked to identify their priorities in life, Americans increasingly mention issues of health, leisure, personal comfort, and lifestyle balance. These priorities have grown from 13 percent in 2006 to 20 percent in 2010. Today
Americans are more concerned wealth, finances, and paying the bills, too. These categories have climbed among respondents from 9 percent in 2006 to 17 percent today.

With Americans progressively leaning toward finances and health concerns as top issues, fewer of them are prioritizing issues along family and faith lines. While 51 percent of Americans mentioned family as a top priority in 2006, today 45 percent give family the same position. Likewise, fewer adults said their top priority was faith as that category decreased from 16 percent in 2006 to 12 percent today.

So what does all this mean for the future of America? With ever more people de-prioritizing the import of faith and family, it would seem that America will increase as a country with a "me-first" mentality. We are in danger of creating a society, in which voters will vote not for the most qualified candidate, but rather the one that will put more emphasis on the pressing needs of the present. It is my observation that this premise is supported by a front page article in USA Today from July 22, 2010. This article reports that hundreds of thousands of Americans who are on welfare are now registering to vote at their local welfare office. The article goes on to claim that this will increase support for the current administration, since people with an income of under $20,000 see the current legislation designed to give them more while taking away from the wealthy.

Men, is it time to stand up for faith and family?

Is there something we can do that puts our faith in God and our love for our families back among our top priorities?

Is it time to put God first?

"Man Up" for Christ

2010-07-20T14:57:00.001-05:00

I consider my marriage a good one. She makes all the little decisions; I make all the big ones. She decides things like what's for supper, where we go on vacation, how to discipline the kids, when we clean the house -- you know -- the small stuff. I, on the other hand, get to make the big decisions: how can we fix the economy, are we or are we not in favor of the euro, is terrace farming the best choice for agriculture in Southeast Asia. You see the kinds of issues I have to grapple with? Okay, so I exaggerate, but the point is this: together my wife and I make all kinds of decisions every day. Some she makes; some I make; some we make.

When it comes to our faith life -- how we show the world Christ -- I try to make the decisions. The rule is if we are together at home, I will start the prayers -- both at meal time and in the evening. If we are apart, we pray individually for meals. She, however, starts prayers when we're on the phone. After I pray, she adds her special heart concerns. After she prays, I add mine. By listening to each other's heartfelt prayers, we learn more about each other and grow in our understanding and love for one another.

We attend worship services together whenever possible. We sit and listen as God's Word is conveyed to us through the liturgy, hymns, and sermon. We sometimes hear God's Word shared through praise songs -- some of which cause conversation as we discuss the meaning of the words. All of this brings us closer to each other as we discuss, debate, and decide how best to live out God's Word by being His children on earth.

I also decide on how our offerings are given -- to whom, for what, and for how much. She has veto power, but she has never used it. I try to get us involved with service projects, impact events, or mission trips as much as possible, but alas, not often enough. I insisted we have a mission statement for our marriage. It is this: to see us is to see Christ.

Men, I have taken the lead on this. I can say it is an awesome responsibility. It is not to be taken lightly, nor should it be taken too gravely either. The emphasis is always on Christ, not me, not her. In respect to all of this, let me state the obvious: Men, it is a good thing to step up and take the leadership in your household, especially if you have children. Men, be the person you can and should be and give your children a clear and unmistakable example of how Christians embrace their faith, stand up for their beliefs, and witness to the truth of the Gospel.

Think for a moment on a person (child or adult) close to you. How can you go beyond your routine of service and care and leave a lasting impression with him or her of Christ working in your life?

Different Strokes for Different Folks

2010-07-13T14:10:00.001-05:00

Cleveland, I feel your pain. The whole country heard the news that your city -- and your team -- just don't measure up to Miami. Granted, LeBron James' exodus to the Sunshine State doesn't rate as high on the disaster scale as the Gulf of Mexico oil crisis, but it's still embarrassing to have your city slammed to a national audience.

So I ask the question, what would motivate a leading sports figure to move from one city to another? Putting the best (if not somewhat far-fetched) construction on everything, one might assume a marquis player would move to a different team so his abilities could be maximized to strengthen and complement players' abilities on the new squad.

Then again, it could be as simple as the new team offered more money and a way better deal?

I believe in this instance it's the latter reason.

Okay, that was an easy shot. Hey, he's a big boy, he can take it.

Let's move on, shall we? Let's consider those extraordinary men and women who do what they do not for fame or fortune but for ideals and their fellow man. I'm humbled when I remember our troops who volunteer every day to lay their lives on the line fighting for others and putting themselves second. Our military volunteer corps left their homes, their families, and their safety -- not for a monster salary and out-of-this-world perks -- but for more noble reasons: duty, honor, and country.

For sacrificing so others won't have to, I honor our troops and thank them.

Making millions doing whatever is one of the great opportunities individuals have in this country. Laying down our lives in selfless service is another.

Men, when we make our decisions, what is our motive?

What Future?

2010-07-07T15:25:00.003-05:00

World leaders bent on total domination have been in the business of shaping the future from the time of the first Pharaoh. Nebuchadnezzar, Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, William the Conqueror, Adolf Hitler, Mao Tse-tung, and virtually every other political leader -- elected or self-appointed -- have fought for their version of a future world. Some leaders want a unified world with themselves at the helm; some just want to get re-elected; some want to free their people; others want to subjugate and terrorize their populations.

Politicians constantly manipulate opinions in order to gain power and prestige. Some politicians go so far as to predict dire consequences for our future using scientific jargon and inflammatory language designed to browbeat others, win recognition, and thus secure their personal financial future.

It seems as if we have always been fascinated by the concept of the future. From Doris Day singing "Que Sera Sera" to Zager and Evans predictions in "2525," song artists have shared their vision of the future. Futurologists like Carl Sagan and John Naisbitt shared their take on the future -- even proclaiming to have the definite answers. Writers such as George Orwell (1984 and Aldous Huxley (Brave New World offered opposing views of the future in their books. Orwell feared those who would withhold information; Huxley predicted we would get so much information we wouldn't care. Orwell wrote that truth would be hidden from us; Huxley felt that truth would become irrelevant, succumbing to platitudes and slogans. Orwell envisioned people controlled by their pain; Huxley feared people would be controlled by giving them their desires -- with no consequences. Orwell gave us "Big Brother"; Huxley gave us mind-altering drugs.

I look around and see the Internet which puts forth so much information I can't process it. I see truth reduced to slogans and sound bites. I see actions without consequences. I see Big Brother issuing speeding tickets using a remote camera. I see a multinational, billion-dollar industry thriving on the sale and distribution of illegal, mind-altering drugs. I see world leaders posturing for global domination. I have even lived long enough to see public schools handing out birth-control measures designed to remove the guilt and consequences of casual sex. Around the world, governments of all types generate enormous wealth -- often with the stated intention of helping those in need and less fortunate -- yet always, or so it seems, end up taking more for themselves and their cronies.

This may all seem obvious, but there is a reason why I mention it. Is our society at a place where we need strong men to stand up for Christ? Is it time for men of God to oppose any religion that would destroy Christ? Is it time for men to work to reclaim Christian values in our society, among our elected officials, and in our laws? Is it time we become true stewards of the land -- as well as the possessions and the intellect we have been entrusted with? Is it time to match action with words?

Just wondering . . .

So what is our future?

Freedom Is Not Free

2010-06-29T15:20:00.001-05:00

This Fourth of July I will fly the stars and stripes -- proudly. I am thrilled to be a citizen of a country that welcomes opposing viewpoints, that encourages open and rational debates, and that protects those who are different. I am proud to be a citizen of a country that offers abundant opportunities for its citizens to make the most out of their lives.

This Fourth of July I will honor the Triune God without fear of retribution, reprisal, or rebuke. I am proud to be a citizen of a country that permits -- and protects -- my choice of worship. I will remember -- as I hope I do every day -- that what we have in the United States is a way of life that is the absolute envy of the world.

This Fourth of July I will eat hot dogs and drink the beverage of my choice, as I get together with my family and cherish our time together. I am proud to be a citizen of a country where my family can freely congregate, partaking in one another's company, and practicing our family traditions without fear of arrest.

This Fourth of July I will join with my fellow citizens and watch the night sky explode with sound and color. I am proud to be a citizen of a country that honors its past and the veterans -- both men and women -- who gave their time, their energy, and often their very lives to secure the freedoms we currently enjoy.

Make no mistake on this one: freedom is not free -- never was, never will be. It was with the sacrifice of blood that our founding fathers forged this magnificent nation. Each succeeding generation has paid a heavy price for our freedoms to continue. And though the blood of countless citizens has been shed to win and preserve our freedom, there's more to it than that. There's a home front that must be minded as well. Ensuring our freedoms continue requires the hard work and diligent perseverance on this side of the battlefield. Bob Dylan sums it up when he says, "I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom."

I am honored to do my part in this demanding and necessary work. I will be an informed voter. I will speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. I will support those fighting overseas to ferret out and eliminate those whose perverse ambition is to terrorize anyone who doesn't conform to their totalitarian agenda. I will honor those who safeguard our country's future. I will support those who likewise serve and protect us here at home. I will work for justice and freedom to the best of my ability, and I will pray that God's will be done in our nation and in my heart.

Will you take 15 minutes this Fourth of July and remember the cost of your freedom?

God bless America.

Lessons Learned From Dad

2010-06-15T17:16:00.001-05:00

My Dad was a great teacher. Over the years he taught me many valuable and useful lessons. I can still remember the day he taught me how to drive a manual transmission car, which led to another lesson: how to use creative language to describe one's feelings when grinding down second gear. I can also remember the day he taught me "Bier auf Wein, das lass sein; Wein auf Bier, das rat' ich dir." (Loosely translated this means "Don't drink wine then beer, beer first.") This gem, in turn, led me to another great lesson: aspirin in the morning will help. And how can I forget the day he schooled me on roofing? The lesson learned here was that it is better (as in much) to be the boss sitting in the shade then the one hammering on the hot roof.

This Father's Day I will reflect on all the lessons Dad taught me over the years. From how to tie a hook onto the fishing line to how to shine my shoes, Dad was always teaching. He enjoyed sharing his wisdom with his children, and his children enjoyed the time they spent learning together. It really didn't matter that most of his lessons revolved around some form of manual labor -- cutting grass, pulling weeds, planting flowers, hanging screens, chopping wood, and the like -- it was good to be with him.

But he taught me more than just how to use my hands; he taught me how to use my mind. He challenged me to read, to memorize poetry, to add numbers in my head, and to play with words. He would play word games with me, encouraging me to learn new words and new meanings for old ones. He would play spelling games with me on long car rides and rejoice when I beat him.

He taught me history by taking trips to visit sites. He taught me beauty by walks through the forest. He taught me wonder by laying still on summer nights -- watching for falling stars. He taught me good humor with bad jokes. He taught me honesty and hard work through his example. He taught me to love as I watched him with my Mom.

He taught me the Bible and the catechism. He took me to church and taught me to sing loud. He taught me reverence and awe as he knelt to pray.

My Dad taught me that there is no greater gift a man can give the next generation then the gift of himself -- pouring out on the next generation all of his accumulated skills, knowledge, and values. I will remember my Dad this Father's Day and pray I can teach the next generation as well.

We Need A Good Cause -- Not A Slogan

2010-06-09T09:41:00.001-05:00

This week we commemorated the anniversary of D-Day -- the Allied invasion of Europe. This invasion launched the liberation of Europe from the stranglehold of Nazi Germany. The world was allied around the cause of freedom from tyranny. World War II united people from different countries and cultures -- each person giving his or her all to achieve this important victory. Never since then have so many different countries and cultures been united in a single cause.

Although the world may be divided, every nation has had its share of unifying causes. For America, the last one came to an end in July 1969 with a footprint on the moon. That singular event brought to conclusion the last cause that Americans far and wide supported with great enthusiasm. Not since then have Americans united behind a national objective with such fervor.

These days what have replaced causes are slogans. Slogans serve to unite factions of the populace. They offer a rallying cry, a chant often devoid of substance. The American presidential campaigns have given us some examples of slogans trotted out to promote a cause -- most of them vowing to influence society: "America Needs a Change"; "A Kinder, Gentler Nation"; Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow"; "The Better Man For A Better America"; "Yes, America Can!"; Yes We Can!"; and the ever popular, "Change We Need." It seems as if every campaign pitches rhetoric out in an attempt to rally voters around a slogan filled with empty promises and undeliverable -- if not simply unbelievable -- goals.

Today's fragmented culture reflects our lack of unifying causes. Each cause becomes equal to the next. Here we have saving the environment equal to stopping the war equal to treating animals humanely equal to providing food for the homeless equal to preventing the murder of children equal to universal health care and on the litany goes. One's personal cause is determined by preferences, peer pressure, propaganda, personal values, and sometimes just plain misinformation. Today's world would have us rally around the serious and the frivolous -- giving equal weight and attention to both.

Men, we need to rally around a cause -- not a slogan. We need substance, not smoke. We need a unifying cause that can ultimately change the world -- one person at a time. I would suggest we take up the cause of living out our God-given roles as spiritual leaders and eliminate slogans altogether. If we do, we just might, by God's grace, change the world for the better -- one man at a time.

Is that a cause worth working for?

A Time For Everything

2010-06-01T16:54:00.001-05:00

There's a pretty good chance you're reading this after enjoying a bit of rest from your daily labors over the Memorial Day weekend that just ended. This past weekend is considered by many the start of the summer vacation season. School children are on vacation; workers plan for vacations; regions depending on tourist income are opening doors long closed for winter, and bank accounts are being emptied -- rapidly. I personally believe in the regenerative power of a retreat, vacation, or some other designated time to break away from the daily routine. I have already booked my summer plans for a weeklong visit to Alaska -- taking my wife and father-in-law to celebrate his birthday.

But as a man, I have a hard time living with the guilt of not being at work. As a man I often define my place on this earth first in terms of how I make a living. If someone asks me, "Who are you?" my initial impulse may not be to give my name but rather describe my job title and what I do. How common is that?

So I have to listen to the writer of Ecclesiastes when he writes, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Yes, there is a time for vacations. I consider a vacation absolutely necessary for me to be my most productive. The experiences I encounter, the memories I accumulate, the time I spend with family and friends, and the opportunities I have to experience new cultures, customs, and cuisine -- all help me mature and keep my mind active and sharp.

But not all my brothers are taking time away from the job. One in four Americans receive no paid vacation time, one in three employees doesn't take all the vacation time he is due, and one in five Americans cancels a vacation because of work. Men, you need to take care of your family and yourselves. You need to take a break and renew. You need to kick back and take your wife on a picnic, take the kids to a park, or visit a zoo with your grandchildren. You need to drive a back road without a map and without a destination for a whole day, eat ice cream cones at the beach, or park at the "cell phone lot" and watch the jets land. You need to lay on your back and show your kids the stars, walk hand in hand with your beloved through a wooded path, or find a waterfall and listen to its roar. You need to write a letter to your mom, visit Alaska and - maybe -- even take time off from work to go to Cleveland, New Orleans, or any other work/service project you've got a hankering to tackle. Not surprisingly, time spent helping others is often the best way to help oneself.

What are you doing for your summer vacation?

War - What Is It Good For?

2010-05-25T17:04:00.001-05:00

Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May. This Memorial Day I will remember my Father, a teenager in December, 1941, who grew up to be a man in Europe as he joined his brothers in the fight against Hitler and his regime of oppression. I will remember my former co-worker who shivered in Korea as he fought his way through the mountain passes to turn back the Communist tide. I will remember my high school friend who went to the jungles of Vietnam and lost his life in the battle for freedom in Southeast Asia. I will remember my friend who served in an armored division whose task it was to flank Iraqi forces and try to capture Saddam Hussein. I will remember my former student who served in Bosnia as a Ranger. I will remember my brother-in-law who is on his second tour to the Mideast and is currently serving in Afghanistan.

I will remember the sacrifices each man made for his country -- my country -- and the time away from family, the hardships of battle and, in one case, the loss of life these sacrifices entailed. I will also pause to honor all the military personnel from around the world who selflessly gave their lives in battling oppression, fighting tyranny, and insuring freedom.

What is war good for? The song, of course, would answer this with, "absolutely nothing!" Yet, what would our world be like if there were not men and women who fought against Hitler, communism, dictatorships, and oppressive rulers? I thank the brave men and women of the military -- from all of the free world -- for their willingness to take up arms and put themselves in harm's way -- all for the fight for freedom.

This Memorial Day I will fly my flag, I will sit on my porch, and I will pray. I will pray for the men and women who are engaged in battles around the world. I will pray for the men and women who patrol borders and coastal waters vigilantly watching and defending against possible hostile action. I will pray for families who are separated by miles and time. I will pray for a time when all military members are united with their families -- never again having to take up arms. I will pray that war will become obsolete -- knowing in my heart that this will never happen this side of heaven.

God bless all our military members.

Helpless

2010-05-18T17:02:00.001-05:00

Perhaps you have been there -- you are driving along, watching carefully for obstacles, impediments, and the proverbial speed trap and bam! -- your blood pressure goes through the roof. Some careless driver, frequently talking on a cell phone, texting, or otherwise driving distracted enters your space and you trade paint, stories with the patrolman, and insurance information. You were helpless to avoid an accident, but thankful it was only the car damaged. Okay, the checkbook took a hit, but no one was hurt.

Sometimes I listen to the news, read a blog, or catch some thread of discussion from a friend and a helpless feeling overtakes me. I can't do anything about the weather: thunderstorms will ruin the best-laid golf plans. I can't do anything about the floods: my long anticipated vacation to Nashville has to be redesigned. I can't do anything about the economy: as I review my 401k; it reminds me of an iceberg, more under water than above. I can't do anything about the government: it appears as if elected officials stay awake at night thinking up ways to reward bad behavior at my expense. I can't do anything about the media: Hollywood continues to shape the thinking of a new generation, chipping away at an already eroded moral base while increasing its assault on God's Word. I can't do anything about the pace of technology: my computer, phone, DVD player, and television set all seem obsolete by the time I bring them home from the store.

Yes, I could succumb to a helpless feeling quite easily.

I may be helpless, but I am not hopeless. I am a Christian man who has the hope of heaven. I know for a fact that this earth will pass away, and I will be part of a new earth. I am a Christian man who belongs to a church. I know for a fact that no matter what the devil, the world, and sinful flesh can hurl at the walls of the church -- it will not fall. I am a Christian man who has power and influence over my family, friends, and neighbors. I know for a fact that when I speak the words of eternal life, they have power and can change lives through the work of the Holy Spirit. I am a Christian man who will continue to trust in an all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present, and eternal Lord.

My hopefulness replaces my helplessness. Men, let's show the world our hopefulness.

Of Cities and Cultures

2010-05-11T17:08:00.001-05:00

Can you name this ancient city?
1. It had a major stadium that was often filled to capacity.
2. It boasted lots of worship venues where major world religions and beliefs were represented.
3. It had a market place where citizens gathered to shop, talk, and share ideas.
4. Its theater entertained while trying to shape a pro-government, liberal viewpoint.
5. Major government offices were in operation there.
6. It had a thriving "red-light" district.
7. There were places where men gathered to drink, discuss, and argue the issues of the day.

Did you name ancient Athens? How about ancient Corinth or Ephesus? Actually, there were many cities of the Roman Empire with the features above. I find it interesting there is so much similarity between today's modern cities with those of antiquity. It's almost as if the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Twenty-first century culture shares many parallels with those of the past. The citizens of the ancient world were taught to be tolerant of all people with, perhaps, one exception -- Christians. The citizens of the ancient world packed stadiums and theaters seeking entertainment and escape from the tedium of life. The government was thought to be the only force that could keep order, peace, and bring prosperity. Government officials were placed above the law or, as was often the case, positioned themselves above the law.

So what to do? The Christian men of the ancient world banned together and worshiped a living Savior. They boldly proclaimed Christ regardless of the consequences. They could witness because they knew Christ; they studied the Word, listened to teachings, and shared this knowledge with their family and friends. They were willing to live -- and to die -- for their faith.

Men, we need to do the same. We need to read and study the Scriptures, listen to its teachings, and share this knowledge with our family and friends. We may not have to die for our faith, but let us live boldly and courageously -- sharing the hope we have in our living Lord and Savior Jesus.

Of Relics and Righteousness

2010-05-04T20:49:00.001-05:00

Much has been made of Pope Benedict XVI's recent excursion to view the famous "Shroud of Turin" in the Italian city of that name. Calling it an "icon written in blood, he spoke of how the fabric's visible markings corresponded to the Gospel description of Christ's crucifixion.
According to a Rome news service, Father Lombardi, director of the Vatican press office, suggested why the Pope presented the cloth as an "icon."

"More than the mysterious origin of this image, what attracts is the impressive way in which it corresponds, in very numerous details, with the account of the passion of Christ in the Gospels: the wounds, the bloodshed, the wounds of the crown of thorns, the beatings of the flagellation. And, in the center, the solemn face of the crucified, a face that corresponds with the most ancient sketches of Christian iconography, which in turn confirms and inspires it."
For centuries the authenticity of the shroud has been fiercely debated among scholars, scientists, and religious leaders. Found in Troyes, France, in 1453, it was moved to Turin in 1578. It became the property of the Holy See of the Catholic Church in 1983. Radiocarbon testing has been applied to the shroud, as well as high-definition digital camera examinations, color pigment tests, chemical and biological analyses, medical forensic studies, and dirt particle evaluations.

And the verdict?

The jury is still out.

And will remain so, we reckon, for as long as the shroud is left to be examined. Though a source of inspiration and for some, even confirmation, of Christ's death and resurrection, this most famous of grave linens will forever remain mute concerning the exact individual around whom it was wrapped.

A fantastic curiosity to be sure, and as such it got me thinking. So what if this shroud was actually wrapped around Jesus? Or what if we had -- beyond a shadow of a doubt -- Jesus' clothing or his carpenter tools? What if -- somehow -- we even had the dried remains of His blood -- verifiable as residue on the bottom of some first-century Roman pot?

These would confirm that He lived, but they would not prove He rose from the dead.
Nothing can prove that. Only faith can believe it.

What If. . .

2010-04-27T16:56:00.001-05:00

Did you ever play the game called, "What if?"? You know the one -- you imagine a scenario and play it out to its natural conclusion. For example, many of us in America have already been playing the what if game: What if Congress passes a law demanding everyone in America should have health care and the government will pay for it? Now that's an interesting what if game, don't you think?

Now there are other what if games too. For instance, what if there is no money left in my retirement fund when I retire? What if the football team I follow makes a bad draft choice? What if my house doesn't sell? What if the Colorado Rockies has the only pitcher that can throw a no-hitter?

We can also play this game: what if we can't worship God? Now some of you might be thinking, here we go again, bringing out the ole' we-are-headed-down-the-Socialism-path again shtick. Well, I'm not really talking about the government taking away our right to worship God -- although that is always a possibility. Just ask the Russians, the Germans, or Christians in Africa. We are really only a dictator away from having our ability to openly worship God taken away.

No, what I am talking about is this: what if there is an earthquake and we are trapped in the rubble of a collapsed building? What if we are trapped in our car due to a bridge collapsing? What if we are on top of a roof with floodwaters rising around us? What if we are in a shelter because the mine caved in?

There may come a time when we need to quote Bible passages of comfort, sing an inspiring hymn, or turn to a prayer of hope and find we have no access to a Bible, a hymnal, or a devotion book. Then what will we do?

Men, I suggest we use our powers of memorization for more than sports stats, barbecue recipes, or even our kid's birthday dates. Yes, we have a powerful mind capable of holding millions of pieces of information. We can drive a route once and return years later and know just where to go; we can remember where every lure is on our tackle box; we can even sing our favorite song -- word for word.

I challenge you to memorize Bible passages, memorize hymns, memorize devotions, and memorize prayers. There will come a time when the words of Scripture we quote will inspire, calm, encourage, and liberate. There will be phrases of joy, peace, and hope in hymns and spiritual songs we recite. People will strain to hear us as we quote a devotion, or a prayer. Men, we are leaders! When we find ourselves with an opportunity to give words of comfort, peace, and hope -- let us do so with boldness!

Reasonable Laws -- Reasonable Enforcement

2010-04-20T17:03:00.001-05:00

How many mine safety regulations need to be violated before something gets done? In other words, how many laws do we need in order to prevent the recent tragedy befalling miners who lost their lives in West Virginia?

Would it be reasonable to assume that if ten safety violations occurred, corrective action should be taken to protect mine workers? If not ten, then how about 50? If not 50, then how about 500? If not 500, then how about 1,400? Yes, according to published reports, there were over 1,400 regulations violated and still the miners were allowed to work. How many workers had to die before the safety regulations were taken seriously?

The mine industry is not the only industry guilty of violating regulations and laws -- bankers, lawyers, stock investors, state governors, sports heroes, even national politicians -- routinely break laws and regulations for personal profit and gain. Each evening on the nightly news we hear about someone else breaking a law or regulation. Sometimes it's someone doing something that's not considered illegal but still puts people in harm's way. When that happens, the government rushes forward to pass legislation to protect us from this new threat. How high would this mountain of laws, regulations, and ordinances be if we stacked up all of the legislation that governs our behavior? But, of course, it doesn't stop there. Every day there are new laws, new regulations to enforce. Every legislative body seems to have only a two-item agenda: get re-elected and pass laws.

It is my opinion we have plenty of laws and more than enough regulations in our society. We may even have too many. It seems to me we also have laws and regulations that are under-enforced and laws that are over-enforced. It would be my opinion that all we really need are reasonable laws with reasonable enforcement. For example, if the laws say a mine must be in total compliance with all safety requirements and upon inspection that mine isn't -- well -- then it's pretty much a no-brainer: MINE CLOSED. Sorry for the inconvenience. It will reopen when all safety requirements have been met.

And what about those hamburger laws and regulations? From the time a young calf is born until the time that calf's meat is served to you as hamburger, there are upwards of 72,000 laws and regulations that must be enforced. Even now, the United States government is asking for more regulatory laws over the banking system, which would only add to the pile of rules and laws already affecting our quality of life!

Of Speed Traps and Fast Cars

2010-04-13T16:29:00.001-05:00

We've all seen them -- multiple police cruisers lined up on the side of the road, each with flashing lights, each with an unhappy motorist parked in front. Yep, from the time of the first radar gun, law enforcement has employed the speed trap as a way to increase the safety of the motoring public by slowing down the average speed of traffic. A more cynical person than me -- alright, it's me -- might speculate that certain municipalities have a less-than-altruistic motive for speed traps: i.e. raising revenue. Many motorists paying fines is certainly a way to generate revenue.

Okay, guys, fess up. We like fast cars. Something in our blood demands us to red line the tachometer as we shift through the gears -- hitting zero to 60 in 3.5 seconds. The throaty roar of a hemi accelerating past us on the Interstate creates envy. Driving through Indy in the family sedan evokes daydreams of left-hand speed turns and brick straightaways. We are attracted to fast cars like a moth to the flame.

And therein is the problem. There are more cars on the road each day; municipalities are downsizing law enforcement to save funds, which creates more danger as drivers push down the accelerator. Our need for speed has been checked by the threat of the random speed stop, but no more. (Now we even have unmanned speed cameras.) So what to do?

Posted speed limit signs just might be the answer. (I know it's a radical idea.) How about we all make a pact that says we will travel at the posted speed (or no more than five miles over any posted speed limit sign)? Perhaps, this will balance the urge to burn out the carbon while maintaining what some engineers believe to be a safe speed for the highway. If we all travel at the same speed, accidents will be reduced as we will not have to slow down for slower drivers.

And as long as I am on a soapbox what about those jokers that speed up to cut off the waiting cars in a construction zone or bolt across three lanes to exit the Interstate? These tactics serve no one's best interests except the mechanic who's repairing dents and dings. Let's face it -- these guys cause accidents and are dangerous to everyone.

What do you think? Can you gimme a high five?

Earthquakes - upheavals -- and other disasters

2010-04-06T16:55:00.001-05:00

It happened at night. I was sleeping peacefully on the fifth floor of the hotel. It took awhile for me to register the fact that I was experiencing an earthquake. The bed bounced, the window rattled, and the car alarm blared. Fortunately, it was a minor earth shake, strong enough to wake, but not strong enough to damage. I did experience the utterly helpless feeling of having the whole earth out of control -- not a good feeling. I could empathize with those families tossed around in Haiti, Chile, and now, Northern Mexico, as earthquakes rocked the very foundations of their buildings, bridges, and bodies. I can empathize. I cannot fully grasp the horror and despair they had as they watched buildings collapse on loved ones, tearing apart families, but I can empathize. However moved I feel about their situation, I can never fully understand their sorrow as life as they knew it was changed forever.

As I watched the reports about the Northern Mexico earthquake, I was alerted to the fact that Tiger Woods would give his "come back" news conference in Augusta. Television reporters promised we would hear the whole story about Woods and how his infidelities rocked the world of golf. A select group of reporters from around the world were allowed to ask him questions in hopes he would be candid and reveal the details of his sins. After the news conference one reporter commented, "I was looking forward to a steak dinner and all I got was a bit of fluff."

Woods' news conference happened the same day a coal mine explosion in West Virginia killed at least 25 miners. In one instant, families were torn apart, the life of a town forever changed. As long as people live in Montcoal, West Virginia, April 5, 2010, will be a day that marks disaster.

All this happened to the backdrop of the Butler Bulldogs losing to the Duke Blue Devils after a buzzer beater three-pointer rattled off the rim.

Each story was reported more passionately than the last -- each event portrayed as the most important news story of this decade. Then, I thought, how can that be? Tiger Woods is a sinful man. He messed up. But are his sins as newsworthy as an underdog basketball team almost upsetting the established giant? I think not.

But then neither story has the impact that a mine explosion or earthquake has: people died. Guys, what is happening in our world when sports stories are on an equal footing with earthquakes and mine explosions? What does it say about our priorities? What does it say about those who put out the news? Do they report the news or do they make the news? What does it say about what our society values?

Happy Easter, Bunny!

2010-03-30T16:07:00.001-05:00

Permit me to share a little of my story. My wife was born, "Arlene," but when her Daddy first held her she had pink ears and a little pink nose. He declared, "She is as cute as a bunny," and she was "Bunny" ever since.

I called her Arlene on our wedding day and sometimes when I was less than happy, but any other time she was Bunny. Every Easter morning I would awake and begin the first of our Easter traditions as I greeted her with "Happy Easter, Bunny!" Then the other traditions would begin:

New Easter outfits for the kids
Family sitting together at church hearing the Easter story
Dinner featuring ham and a home-made red-velvet, butter-creamed frosted lamb cake (with memories of one lamb that "bled" raw red-velvet dough when cut into - not a pretty sight)
Easter baskets - one hidden in the bathtub, one in the oven, others behind furniture
Egg hunt, featuring plastic eggs filled with jelly beans and an occasional coin
Easter lilies on the table

No matter what the family situation, no matter what the finances, no matter what was the chaos that surrounded us -- the familiar Easter traditions provided a day for stability, comfort, and joy. This day and its traditions surrounded our family with a peace. No matter what the future would bring, we would awake, shout out, "Happy Easter, Bunny!" and hear once again the Good News of the open tomb.

Today, the family is separated by time and distance, with the kids separated by time zones, as well as an ocean. Our kids are now on their own, with children and traditions of their own.

Bunny has been called home to her Heavenly Father, no longer present to hear, "Happy Easter, Bunny." Yet, in the dark, quiet hours of this coming Easter morning, I will awake and speak the words, "Happy Easter, Bunny," and will be comforted. I will not hide baskets or eat a lamb cake, but I will look at the Easter lily in church. My eyes will tear and my throat will close as I hear the words, "He is risen!" And I will whisper, "He is risen, indeed! Alleluia!"

"Happy Easter, Bunny" reminds me of a lifetime of love, joy, happiness, and traditions. I will recall the past and delight in His gifts of today -- another wife, a new family, new traditions, and the opportunity to share Him in all I do.

I thank God for traditions. I thank God for memories. I thank God for promises. I thank God for new traditions.

Happy Easter . . .

It's All About Me . . .

2010-03-24T09:53:00.001-05:00

I recently flew two different airlines for a business trip I was taking. As I travelled, I noticed how society seems to have become more self-centered and selfish. Let me explain:

When it was my turn to board the first airplane, I had to wait in the doorway as passengers searched for a place to store their carry-on luggage. The flight attendant standing next to me mumbled under her breath, "If these people would just check their bags, we wouldn't have to stand here." She then proceeded to make an announcement about how we were going to be delayed and that everyone should just find a seat. It was all about her and her inconvenience. She wanted to get out of the aisle and sit down. She wanted to leave so she could get home. She spent no extra effort to help the passengers find room -- it was all about her. Somehow she forgot the obvious: passengers were not checking their bags because of the airline's exorbitant fee to do so.

One reason these passengers had trouble finding a place for their carry-on luggage was because their luggage was not really carry-on size. By far the majority of bags brought on board for that flight fit into the overhead bin only with the firm assistance of many hands stuffing them in place. It was a sight to behold -- something akin to watching a size-42 man attempt size-38 jeans. You get the picture. (Sorry about that.) The point of this is that it was all about them. I saw men elbow out women so they could grab an empty space for their jumbo carry-on. I saw women shouldering purses the size of a small car. Then there was the gentleman who darted to the back of the plane to store his bag and then immediately cut back through the oncoming passengers to find his seat in the forward section. I think it's safe to say it was all about him.

Later I flew on an airline that doesn't charge to check bags. The flight attendant announced all the seats would be filled and that we should place our smaller items under the seat in front of us. This was to make room for larger bags in the overhead bin. As soon as the announcement was made I watched a businessman put his suit carrier in the overhead bin, followed by a laptop case, and then his jacket. I was amazed. I would have thought because there was no charge to check bags, there would be less carry-on luggage and, consequently, less competition for space. Boy, was I wrong. People choked the aisle with oversized luggage, computer bags larger than my biggest suitcase, and enough baggage for a 12-day safari. I watched as a wife wedged her husband's duffel bag beneath the seat in front of her, bringing her knees to her chin. Overhearing her comments, I'm pretty sure he enjoyed the couch that night. Again, it was all about him. No one was willing to go out of their way to help a neighbor. Each person pushed and shoved to get what they wanted without little regard as to how much it inconvenienced someone else.
It was ridiculous -- an ugly spectacle of rude selfishness. Young men jockeyed for seats to rest their weary bones, leaving elderly women to stand. Grown adults cut in line to be first to check out with their muffins and coffee, edging out younger people in the process. Oh, and let's not forget those oblivious wannabes on cell phones who couldn't care less if the volume of their blather disturbs others around them.

When did we change the Golden Rule from "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," to "Do unto others -- first"?

When did we become a nation of individuals who only care about . . . me?

Good Enough

2010-03-16T17:00:00.001-05:00

Over the years I have done a little bit of everything. I have painted walls, hung wallpaper, constructed furniture, loaded trucks, shipped parts, changed oil, hung doors, built a camp fire, pitched a tent, reloaded shot gun shells, repainted a car, and grilled steaks. I must confess that in all these activities, I never once had a goal of good enough. My goal was always perfection -- paint where paint belongs, wallpaper seams matched and straight, functional and aesthetically pleasing furniture, trucks with a balanced and safe load, parts shipped to arrive in one piece, oil in the car and not on the driveway, doors that sealed, camp fires that gave heat and light, shot gun shells that delivered their proper load, a car that looks like it was made that way, and steaks medium -- charred on the outside and pink and juicy on the inside.

I do not like the phrase, "good enough." Good enough implies to me I'm beginning with the lofty goal of mediocrity. Good enough implies to me I really don't need to try my best. Good enough implies to me the effort is more a vague intention than a real attempt at getting it right. Well, I say, "good enough never is!"

I agree with the old adage, "If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing right." So why do we often seem to think that good enough is? As I look around today I see lots of examples of poor craftsmanship. I see expensive furniture made with butt joints and not dovetail ones. I get recall notices from car manufactures who inform me parts are out of alignment. I buy pens that won't write. I watch workers stock shelves with dented cans. I have to finish cleaning the car after it has been through the car wash. I look for gifts that will not break the first time they're played with. I am surrounded by companies who overpromise and under deliver.

I am pretty sure if I hung a door that didn't close, my wife would be upset. I am very certain if I shot at a trophy buck with a shell that misfired, I would be upset. I know for a fact if I put more paint on the floor than on the walls my wife will get verbal about my ability. Yes, I know that when I start a task, my goal is not that it's just good enough, but that it's perfect -- or at least as close as I can get to something approaching that. I still take pride in my work. I take pride in my accomplishments. I still drive by the brick wall I helped build and feel a sense of triumph to see the joints still holding, the wall still standing. I believe guys are designed not merely to be good enough, but to be always striving for perfection.

Can you just picture the results from a good enough nuclear weapons safety-switch design?

Let's Tax Our Way to Health

2010-03-09T16:18:00.001-06:00

In 1960, the federal minimum wage was $1 per hour and a fountain soft drink cost five cents, while a slice of pizza in New York City costs around 60 cents. In 1960, children ran and played outside after school; they left the house on Saturday mornings and returned at dark. Bicycles, skates, hula hoops, and stick ball were the fitness machines of the 60s. Elementary school students wore gym uniforms and sweated in gym class; recesses were spent climbing jungle gyms, swinging on wooden swings, and playing ancient games called, "tag" or "hide and seek." Children in rural areas did chores like feeding livestock, cleaning up after livestock, and running errands. City kids did chores like making beds, washing dishes, and running errands. City and country alike, children ran, played, socialized, and enjoyed the freedom to just be kids.

Today, the federal minimum wage is $7.25 per hour and a fountain soft drink costs $1, while a slice of pizza in New York City costs around $2.50. Today, children come home after school and chat, text, and game -- all electronically. Schools have eliminated gym classes due to lawsuits and increased operating costs. Elementary students are watched over as they play on rubber mats and stand and chat with each other. Children in rural areas do chores, but now they have access to four-wheelers. City kids do chores like hooking up the wireless Internet and showing parents how to surf the Web. City and country alike, children have become more isolated as all of their socializing is done via electronic media.

Today, I heard a report how today's children will be the first generation in the history of the United States to live shorter lives than their parents. The report cited the epidemic of childhood obesity as the cause for these shortened lifespans. The report said the federal government now has the answer to childhood obesity: an 18-percent tax on soft drinks and pizza. The reasoning behind this tax proposal consisted of "if soft drinks and pizza costs more, then kids will consume less and be healthier."

Now that really doesn't make any sense to me. In 1960, a person would have to work three minutes at minimum wage to buy a soft drink; today a person has to work eight and a half minutes for that same drink. In 1960, a person would have to work 36 minutes for a slice of pizza, while today one would have to work only 21 minutes. Hence in the logic of the government -- since soft drinks cost more -- soft drink consumption should be down while pizza slice consumption should be up. According to its own report, soft drink consumption is higher. Oh well, so much for their logic.

Will an 18-percent tax on soft drinks and pizza create fitter children? I would guess the only thing that would get slimmer is our pocketbooks, while the government coffers get fatter. Would things like more exercise be good for kids? Would creating a safe environment where kids can run and play be good for them? How about fast-food chains offering inexpensive healthy choices so a working single mom can afford to feed her family something besides inexpensive grease-saturated food? Perhaps, healthy school lunch programs run by lunch ladies that actually prepared food from scratch instead of being required to use pre-packed, government-issued, convenience food would be better for the children?

I may be naïve, but I don't follow the logic that says we can tax our way to health.

Am I the only one?

Put the "Men" in Mentor

2010-03-02T16:23:00.001-06:00

My Dad was a great Dad; he was there when we needed to talk. He disciplined me when I needed it; he showed mercy when I deserved his anger, and he loved my Mom. He had a quick temper, but always asked us to forgive him. He was fair and honest. Though he was very conservative, he let the world know his viewpoints about liberal government leaders. He was a Christian who worked hard for his church -- leading, supporting and praying for it. He was the father I try to be today. In many ways he was my mentor, my teacher, and it was he who taught me how to be a dad and husband.

I was very blessed to have other mentors in my life. When I was in sixth grade, our neighbor, Wayne, sat on the front steps with my Dad and me. He looked over the lawn and pronounced, "Your son is old enough to take care of the lawn." From that day on Wayne showed me the best way to cut grass, how to apply the correct fertilizers and weed killers, and how to trim the edges. Since his lawn bordered on ours, the two houses presented a unified front to the neighborhood. We had the best yards! I still use much of Wayne's teachings in my yard work today. When I was married, Wayne was there as a groomsman -- fitting since he was the one who taught me to groom a yard.

Corney was the man who taught me to be the best in my profession. He worked in the next town over doing similar work that I did. One day he walked into my office and proceeded to show me the best ways to organize my office, purchase supplies, and file invoices. He shared secrets he had learned over the years about managing people and dealing with complaints. He gave me friendship and knowledge -- all the while building my confidence to be a leader. I will be buried in the same cemetery as Corney -- fitting since his best advice to me consisted on how not to be buried by paperwork.

Then there was Bill; he was a quiet man. He was also very thin. Bill and I worked on a project together. He had skill, knowledge, and drive. One day he and I sat drinking a beverage, and I asked about his health, for he seemed to be suffering. He shared his story -- one that involved military service, capture, a forced death march, imprisonment for two years, getting sick, and then, finally liberation! He shared how his military experience had helped him in the business world, for he was willing to risk everything. He laughed about the fortunes he made and lost, but always came back to, "It was better than a cell." Bill taught me perseverance, courage, and the importance of Christ. He taught me to survive those times when I thought I wouldn't. He was the most generous man I have known, freely giving, and expecting nothing in return. He showed me what it was to be a strong disciple of Christ. I continually strive to live my life up to his -- fitting since he lifted me up many times by his generosity and encouragement.

Today, I am surrounded by other mentors, some of whom I will not embarrass by mentioning them here, since they read this blog. Suffice it to say, it took other men in my life to teach me to be the man I am today. I still need other men in my life -- as mentors.

Men, let's put the "men" in mentor. Let us look for the man in our life we need to build up, encourage, teach, train, discipline, or just walk beside.

Anyone come to mind?

Soldiers?

2010-02-23T17:07:00.001-06:00

I recently spent a weekend with 100 other men gathered together under the theme, "Soldiers of the Cross." It was shared with us that we are at war -- a war against the devil. The devil is our enemy, and he is on the lookout for those whom he can separate from God. When the devil captures someone, they face an eternity without God. We were given instruction on how we can fight against the devil with our words, our actions, and our lives.

We gathered around the Holy Scripture for encouragement and instruction. We gathered around prayer for wisdom and comfort. We gathered around fellowship for bonding and sharing. We gathered around the table for strength and laughter. We gathered around the piano for singing battle songs of victory and hearty camaraderie.

As I left these guys to go back home, I reflected on the experience and the theme for the weekend. Specifically, I pictured myself as a soldier. I was not drafted nor did I enlist. I have known many soldiers and have a great respect for their commitment and service pledge as summed up in the soldier's oath:

"I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

A soldier promises to support, defend, and obey.

Can I do any less than support the Scriptures, defend the faith, and obey my God?

It's Not My Fault

2010-02-16T16:38:00.001-06:00

The recent tragedy of the death of the Georgian Luger reminded me once again how often people today just can't admit doing something wrong. The fact that this track was designed and built to produce the world's fastest times, that no padding was placed around potential death traps, and that practice times were limited apparently played no part in the tragic events that led to this competitor's death.

I find it interesting that after the death there was padding placed around pillars; the start was changed in order to reduce speeds; competitors were assigned practice times; and plywood sheets now protect athletes. I wonder why, if there was no fault in the original design and construction of the track, were these after-the-fact precautions taken?

Not to beat a dead horse . . . but if Mark McGwire really took steroids to help his pain, then why wouldn't he voluntarily resign his homerun record? If all he did was to take these drugs to play the game, and if all he ever wanted to do was just play the game, and if the only thing that was important to him was playing the game -- then why hang on to the record? Wouldn't simply having played the game be enough for him?

I recently had some issues with the company that provides my prescriptions. A worker entered my information incorrectly, and the order was rejected. That in itself wouldn't cause many issues; however, this is a medication I need to live. When I called the company to see if I could resolve the issue, its position was that it was my fault for not answering my phone or e-mail messages. Though I was away from my home and there were no e-mails from the company, I was still informed it was my fault.

Yes, it seems as if in today's world there is no one who will stand up and say, "I made a mistake." As men we must teach our sons that there will be times when it is not only the manly thing, but also the moral thing to admit a personal mistake in judgment, action, or deeds. Until men choose to stand up and take responsibility for their actions, it seems our society will continue declining. As long as we doggedly maintain that "it's not my fault" -- no matter what the issue -- civility and courtesy in society are diminished, and we relinquish our roles as being the men God fully intended us to be.

Super Bowl Let Down

2010-02-09T17:32:00.001-06:00

My prediction was somewhat correct, I predicted the Saints would top the Colts by a fourth-quarter field goal, final score 24-21. That was wrong; the Saints beat the Colts 31-17! It was an exciting game and for someone who's fallen asleep during past games, this one was exciting.

In fact, in my opinion, the game was the best part of the whole experience. The half-time show performers were well into the second half of their lives. The light show was entertaining, but the rest of their performance left me with a desire to watch CSI.

The commercials -- ahh, yes, the commercials -- always a highlight were, sad to say, very disappointing this year. Rather than hilarity and out-of-the-box thinking, I got mediocre man bashing. Hey, if I want to be made fun of because I'm a man, all I have to do is drive around with the Garmin on. The little lady does everything but slap me upside the head and call me an idiot. One day I will "recalculate" her! But I digress.

Yes, I thought the first Bud Light commercial showed promise with its remodeled home done as an Extreme Makeover in Bud Light style. The prospect of drinking myself out of house and home is kind of appealing, but the last image with the shower was appalling.

It went downhill from there. Casual Friday from CareerBuilder really crossed the line with the underwear images now burned into my brain. Bud Light struck again with the concept that men will only read a book and discuss it in exchange for a beer. (I will read and discuss a book for much less.)

The phrasing showed promise with, "Guys can cry," "Man's last stand," "Get a spine," and "Men, it's time to wear the pants." However, each phrase only dug deeper at the whole guy-bashing concept. Guys can cry only because they are eating a jalapeno chicken sandwich; men will stand anything in order to drive a Charger; men need to get a spine or they have to go shopping with their wife and miss football (I couldn't figure out who the audience was for this last one, since we are all watching football to watch a commercial about men not watching football); and, finally, men need to wear pants or they will be seen on national TV running around in their underwear.

In fact, even da Bears got in on the underwear kick with the leopard-print-thong thing. With all the underwear shots, I felt as if I was back in third grade and reading The Adventures of Captain Underpants in the coat room.

With an estimated 103 million people watching, America's businesses put forth their best effort -- old people in underwear. I think America would be better off if these advertisers gave their Super Bowl commercial budgets to the government to reduce the national deficit.

Maybe it's time for men to be seen as men -- not some pitiful, ad agency mockery of a man -- but a man who calls a sin, a "sin"; a man who works hard to provide for the needs of his family; a man who dares to show emotion; a man who demonstrates a life built on biblical principles; a man who will love his wife; a man who can change the world; a man who thinks for himself and isn't influenced by incomplete science, bad taste, or lousy commercials.

I will reject the TV hype and be a man, will you?